


Five Things

by BeccatheBiscuitBaker



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anxiety, Artist Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Autism, Autistic Character, Boys In Love, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Childhood Friends, Coming Out, Connor Deserves Happiness, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Explicit Language, F/M, Falling In Love, First Dates, First Time (Implied), Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Jared Kleinman, Holidays, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied Sexual Content, Jared Has Siblings, Jared is Heathers Trash, Kissing, M/M, Mental Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Mild Bleeding Scenes, Mild Hurt/Comfort, More tags to be added, Musical Trash, Mutual Pining, Pain, Physical Abuse, Protective Boyfriend, Recreational Drug Use, Religious Parent, Road Trips, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Step-parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2019-10-14 01:38:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 34,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17499179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccatheBiscuitBaker/pseuds/BeccatheBiscuitBaker
Summary: Jared Kleinman has been making the five things lists since he could count to five. It just...helps.He has secrets, yes, but Jared can handle it. Jared learned how to hide and lie about what really happens to him, he knows how to be happy around that, he has nothing to worry about. He has life under control.He's got this...right?———————"Then show me.”Jared met Connor's eye, "What?""Show me. If there isn't anything to see, you shouldn't mind.”





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Okie, this is one of those ideas I got right before I go to sleep. Please enjoy.

Jared isn't sure when he started making the lists. Probably from the moment he could count to five. It just, it helps him think things through.

**Jared Kleinman's Five Things**

**1\. Has secrets**

**2\. Is in love with someone**

**3\. Would rather be in school than at home**

**4\. Makes good quality jokes**

**5\. Abused**

The lists don't have to go in a specific order. It isn't a  _Top Five Things_ list. It's just five things. Once Jared knows someone well enough, he makes the list in his brain. No one knows about them except him. Jared likes it that way.

 

"Jared!" his mom called. "Come on hon, get up. You'll be late for school!"

**Audrey Kleinman/Gaustad's Five Things**

**1\. Is oblivious to most things**

**2\. Tries too hard**

**3\. Married to an asshole**

**4\. Forgets she has a child in her care most days**

**5\. Real estate agent**

Jared sat up and threw on the first outfit he could find that covered the bruise on his arm. He made sure his bag was ready before walking down to the kitchen. Dave was already there.

**Dave Gaustad's Five Things**

**1\. Will do anything to get out of work**

**2\. Abuser**

**3\. Hates children**

**4\. Married Audrey because she was desperate**

**5\. Can't cook**

"Morning Jared," Dave nodded.

"Hi Dave," Jared mumbled.

Jared ate a banana in silence before going back upstairs to finish getting ready. He made it out of the house before anyone could talk to him anymore. School was safer.

Jared unloaded his supplies into his locker before checking his phone. Nothing new. No sign of Evan Lying Hansen, so he just stood near his locker. He heard a familiar thumping on the floor and he looked up. Connor was here.

Connor had been Jared's best friend for years. In middle school they were just...thrown together. Now Jared was close with all the Murphy's. Granted Jared hadn't seen much of Connor for about...a year-ish. Basically, Connor had gone to a privet school for a semester and a half. After that he was kicked out or something. Jared still saw him, but they hadn't been able to hang out as much with him trying to stabilize his grades. Then summer happened, and the Murphy's had went on a trip to California or something and they were gone all summer. Jared and Connor talked a lot, but it only went so far. Wait...when did his hair get long?

"Hey Murphy!" Jared called. "Nice hair length, very school shooter chic."

Connor turned and met Jared's eye, glaring.

"I'm kidding," Jared chuckled, walking over. "It looks great."

Connor smiled and fell in step next to Jared.

"Good," Connor sighed. "I'd chop it off if you didn't like it."

**Connor Murphy's Five Things**

**1\. Depressed ( _not_ suicidal)**

**2\. Hot as _HELL_ (examples: Hair, smile, literally everything)**

**3\. Puts everyone before himself (except maybe Larry)**

**4\. Gay**

**5\. Can be scary when mad**

"No, it really looks good," Jared assured, stopping at Connor's locker. "Glad to be back from stuck up school?"

"It wasn't that bad, J," Connor chuckled. "Apparently weed isn't okay though."

"Wonder why," Jared stole a pen from Connor's hand.

"Fuck off," Connor laughed, stealing the pen back. "Oh, can you come over for dinner tonight?"

Jared smiled. "Obviously. I'm down any night. Not like mom'll notice."

"What about Dave?"

Jared forced himself not to flinch. "H-He won't care."

"Sweet," Connor grinned. "Can I see your schedule?"

Jared handed the piece of paper over and waited for Connor to compare it to his own.

"Any classes you don't like?" Connor asked.

"I...I really don't wanna take calc," Jared confessed.

"Switch it to senior art," Connor begged. "It's the same hour, and then we share all of our classes."

"Fine," Jared huffed, grabbing the paper. Having all classes with Connor would be good. That would mean they had the same lunch hour too.

Jared ran off to the office to get the change made and then he met up with Connor in AP anatomy.

 

At lunch Jared sat with Zoe, meaning Connor did too.

**Zoe Murphy's Five Things**

**1\. Bi**

**2\. Musical genius**

**3\. Doesn't deal with her brother's bs**

**4\. Secretly a redhead (dyes hair brown)**

**5\. Knows how to throw a party (example: Halloween last year)**

"So, Jared, tell me, did you nab any babes this summer?" Zoe asked.

Jared had been lying about being straight for years now. Dave had warned him about what would happen if he went through a fag stage, so he lied to everyone for his own safety.

"Uh, almost," Jared laughed. "At camp, this one model girl tried to come onto me and I shut that shit down." This was true.

"Good," Connor mumbled, eating his salad.

"Connor, any California boys?" Jared asked.

"No. I'm waiting."

"For?"

"Not sure."

"Well, Connor knows this, but I was half ass dating a boy for a few weeks before I called it off," Zoe announced.

"Dumbass," Connor growled.

"He tried to get me to try crack," Zoe explained.

"Good job," Jared smiled.

They fell back into pace easily. Jared liked the structure that the Murphy's gave him. They were more of a family than his own.

 

"Jared!" Cynthia squealed as they walked in the door. "Oh, dear, it's so good to see you again!"

**Cynthia Murphy's Five Things**

**1\. Tries a little too hard**

**2\. Loves her kids more than anything**

**3\. Has too much time on her hands**

**4\. Not fully understanding of depression**

**5\. Loves yoga**

"You too, Cynthia," Jared beamed, being wrapped in a hug.

"I made your favorite," Cynthia whispered.

"You didn't have to-"

"I wanted to, silly," Cynthia ruffled his hair before handing each teen a water bottle. "Go on, have fun, I'll call when dinner is ready."

Zoe went up to her room and Jared followed Connor to his.

 

"Kids!" Cynthia called. "Dinner!"

Jared put down his pencil and Connor let out a sigh. They put their books down and trudged to the kitchen. Jared was tired from the annoying amount of homework they had on the first day.

"Hey Jared," Larry Murphy grinned, clapping him on the back.

**Larry Murphy's Five Things**

**1\. Lawyer**

**2\. Very organized**

**3\. Likes booze (only the good shit)**

**4\. Has trouble with showing his emotions**

**5\. Sports man**

"Hi Larry," Jared smiled. He sat at the table next to Connor and thwy went through dinner normally. It was so much easier with the Murphy family. Life was easier.

After dinner Jared went home before Cynthia pulled him into staying over, which frankly happened a lot. Dave was sitting with a cup of coffee when he walked in. From the look of things, Audrey wasn't home.

"You didn't tell me you'd be late," Dave growled.

"It was last minute," Jared explained. "I texted mom."

"You know that family has a faggot."

"He's fine, Dave-"

Jared barely had time to blink before the cup was chucked at his head. He felt the glass shatter against his forehead.

"You are a horrible child," Dave spat. He literally spat on Jared. "You deserve nothing. I wish you were dead. Clean this up before your mother comes home. You tripped down the stairs.

Dave stalked away and Jared went to picking up the shattered glass off the floor. He felt something warm and sticky running down his face. Jared placed a hand to his forehead and pulled out the shard of glass that had found a home in his forehead. The blood didn't gush, but there was a lot. He ran the vacuum over the carpet and emptied it into the trash before cleaning up his face and crashing into bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is loosely based off of multiple things.  
> 1\. The Dangerous Art of Blending in (Very good book about coming out and dealing with abuse. The main character is named Evan btw)  
> 2\. Paper Towns (Another good book, it just gave me a few plot points)  
> 3\. MadHattey and her Kleinman Brothers story (Beautiful story, she's on Tumblr/YouTube/Word Press if you wanna check her out)


	2. Chapter Two

"Jared, what happened to your face?" Zoe asked.

"Fell down the stairs," Jared said automatically.

Jared hadn't seen his mother since the day before. She had left the house before Jared was up, so she didn't see the gash on his face. Connor was already in class when Jared arrived, so he was greeted with Zoe.

"You are a walking accident, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

Zoe stopped walking and had Jared face her so she could get a better look at the cut. "Maybe you should get it checked out? It could get infected. That would be gross."

"Maybe later," Jared sighed. He spotted Evan staring at them, clearly trying not to stare. He ignored him. "I'm gonna go to class. See you at lunch?"

"Yeah, sure," Zoe grinned. "My mom made cookies for us."

"Sounds great."

Jared turned down the hall and took his seat next to Connor. He kept his head down, but Connor knew better.

"Please, tell me, what happened this time?" Connor sighed, inspecting Jared's face. "Did you fall in the shower again?"

"No, this time I tripped down the stairs."

"Idiot."

"I know."

"I'm kidding J, you're not an idiot."

"Aww, thanks."

"Coming over again today?"

"Um, no. It's...I have to stay home today. Cleaning."

After incidents it was always smart to stay home. To prevent another incident.

"Okay. Uh, did you finish the homework? I only have one more problem."

Jared handed his notebook to Connor and watched him copy down the answer. Jared didn't get many chances to ogle Connor. Not when he was trying to keep the gay vibes down.

 

Jared was handed a cookie when arrived for lunch. He thanked Zoe and took his seat between the Murphy siblings. Jared did his best not to get pissed the moment Evan sat down across the table from him.

"Is uh, is it okay if I sit here?"

**Evan Hansen's Five Things**

**1\. Liar (BTW HE'S AN ASSHOLE)**

**2\. Anxious**

**3\. Is quite helpless at making friends**

**4\. Decent writer**

**5\. Wore Uggs all of junior year before being told that mostly women wore them**

Jared shrugged. "I guess. Why do you even want to?"

"Because we're friends."

Jared stood up and pulled Evan aside. "Look, we aren't friends. We're  _family friends_. We both know that we wouldn't hang out together if given a choice. It's fine if you sit with us, but we aren't friends."

Evan nodded and they walked back to their seats. Jared hadn't trusted Evan since Jared found out that he was a compulsive liar. 

"Oh, Murphy's, this is Evan. Evan, I'm sure you've heard of the Murphy's. Especially Zoe."

Evan shot Jared a look before going back to staring at his lap.

"...How do you know about Zoe?" Connor asked.

"Jazz...jazz band."

"Oh, have you gone to any concerts?" Zoe was smiling now.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Evan nodded. "I love jazz, well not all jazz but definitely like jazz band jazz. That's so weird I'm sorry."

Jared met Connor's eye and they both stifled their laughter. Evan was horrible at this.

"Cool," Zoe chuckled.

Evan just nodded. 

"Zoe, pass the cookies," Connor called.

 

Jared walked through the front door, and attempted to sneak into his room. Audrey wasn't home, figures.

"Jared!"

Shit.

Jared walked into the kitchen, "Yes?"

"I'm going to church, are you coming?" Dave glared at Jared.

"No thank you."

Let's just forget the fact that Jared is Jewish. Okay Dave, let's forget that huge factor.

"You should go, it could help get rid of your demons."

"No thanks."

Dave walked away to get changed and Jared escaped to his room.

Now Jared was thinking about how horrible he was. Stupid Dave and the stupid demons. He knew he wasn't great. He was a horrible friend. Hell, how long had he and Connor been friends? Six years? Connor still doesn't know about his family life. Excusing the abuse because no one knows about that.  Connor didn't know about shit. Connor hasn't been in his room before. He's come over, but they never went to his room.

"Jared, I'm leaving."

Jared got up and followed Dave to the door.

"You should put on a larger shirt," Dave said. "You show too much. It's bad enough that you don't hide your weight, but showing it off? Cover up, before someone sees how ugly you are."

"Okay," Jared nodded. "Have a good time at church."

"I will pray for you," Dave assured. "You need to trust me Jared, I let God lead the way and He is who gives me strength. You can still go."

"I don't think I should. Not with the cut on my face."

"Yes. I suppose that will be for the best," Dave gave him a smile. It was creepy coming from him. "I have asked the pastor to pray for you. If you work harder, the demon will leave you. I promise. You just need to trust in Him."

Dave walked out the door and Jared sat down on the floor. After incidents Dave tried to make it seem like what he did was for the best. But how was the pain helping. Jared didn't think he was ever a bad kid. He didn't get it. The mind games always threw him off.

**[Connor]**

**bruh**

**[Jared]**

**what?**

**[Connor]**

**my mom made more fuckin cookies. she has a problem**

**[Jared]**

**daym. eat them you stick**

**[Connor]**

**fuck you im a twig**

**mr-ditches-out-on-dinner-when -i-love-mamma-cynthias-cookies**

**[Jared]**

**um. yes.**

**[Connor]**

**what?**

**[Jared]**

**dunno. cu tmr**

**[Connor]**

**okay**

Jared decided not to eat that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just...hate dave.
> 
>  
> 
> oH! sowhatwereyouguysthinkingaboutanevan/miguelstory?  
> sorryfornospacesimnervous...


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that at one point there is a space between an o and an h in the word oh. I can't fix it, it won't work, I've tried three times.

September flew by and soon October was in full swing. Jared saw Audrey a few times a week, if he was lucky. The abuse was kept to where it wasn't easily seen, and Jared swore he was getting even more gay for Connor. If that was possible...

 

Jared sat down at Connor's desk and looked through their homework. Jared was kind of a genius, so it wasn't that hard for him, but trying to help Connor without just giving him the answers was hell.

"What's the prognosis?" Connor was looking over Jared's shoulder.

"Looks like a few days."

"Oh shit."

"Just call if you need help tomorrow," Jared gave a small smile. "I'll finish tonight, and then over the weekend I can help you."

"Or you could just stay the night?"

"Audrey is home...so I think I should be home tonight. She said it was important."

"Mamma's boy," Connor teased, ruffling Jared's hair.

_Shit!_

Jared maybe had been punched in the head and it left some bumps...

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just...you know...I'm a klutz." Jared plastered a smile he was used to faking. The "I'm not abused" smile. The "Everything is great" smile. The "Please fucking notice me senpai" smile, but usually that one wasn't faked...it was just there when Connor was around.

"God, you have to start being more careful," Connor sighed, meeting Jared's eye. "Where else did you hurt yourself?"

"Just my head."

"Okay, please try to be more careful."

"No promises."

Jared turned back to the homework before Connor could interrogate him more. Jared split up the load into sections that would be manageable for Connor to do in sessions, then wrote how long of a break he should take between each session. Jared could totally become a tutor.

Connor's door opened, and Zoe walked in.

"I have a new favorite song!" Zoe announced, plopping down on her brother's bed.

"Out," Connor pointed to the door. "Try again. Knock before you enter."

Zoe rolled her eyes and turned to Jared, "Wanna hear? It's an oldie but a goodie."

"Sure," Jared nodded. Zoe tended to play the best bops.

Zoe pulled up the song on her phone and hit play.

_"Do you hear me?_

_I'm talking to you_

_Across the water_

_Across the deep blue ocean_

_Under the open sky_

_Oh my, o_ _h baby I'm trying_

 

_Boy I hear you_

_In my dreams_

_I feel you whisper_

_Across the sea_

_I keep you with me_

_In my heart_

_You make it easier when life gets hard_

 

_Lucky I'm in love with my best friend_

_Lucky to have been where I have been_

_Lucky to be coming home again"_

"Do you see why I like it?" Zoe asked, her focus pointed at Jared.

"Uh, yeah," Jared smiled at her.

_"They don't know how long it takes_

_Waiting for a love like this_

_Every time we say goodbye_

_I wish we had one more kiss_

_I'll wait for you_

_I promise you_

_I will_

 

_Lucky I'm in love with my best friend_

_Lucky to have been where I have been_

_Lucky to be coming home again_

_Lucky we're in love in every way_

_Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed_

_Lucky to be coming home someday_

 

_And so I'm sailing_

_Through the sea_

_To an island where we'll meet_

_You'll hear the music fill the air_

_I'll put a flower in your hair_

 

_Through the breezes_

_Through the trees_

_Move so pretty_

_You're all I see_

_As the world keeps spinning round_

_You'll hold me right here right now_

 

_Lucky I'm in love with my best friend_

_Lucky to have been where we have been_

_Lucky to be coming home again_

_Lucky we're in love in every way_

_Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed_

_Lucky to be coming home someday"_

"Okay, thanks Zoe," Connor took her phone and tossed it out of the room and onto the hall rug.

"Connor!" Zoe huffed. She exited the room and picked up her phone before locking herself in her room.

Jared pulled out his phone while Connor glanced at the homework again.

**[Jared]**

**send me the song**

**i loved it**

**[Zoe]**

**kk**

**<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQCY2zL0Jr8> **

**[Jared]**

**thx boo**

**[Zoe]**

**welcome boo**

"So, do you think you'll be able to manage without me holding your hand?"

Connor gave him a look, "No, you're gonna have to carry me the whole way."

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you, it's too dark in here."

Connor nudged him. "God, you're such a geek."

"Thank you. But the term is genius."

"Fuck you."

"No, I'm too straight for that!"

_LIES!_

"Sorry, I forgot," Connor was laughing.

Jared stole a pen from the desk and tossed it towards Connor, "YEET!"

Connor caught the pen, "Jesus Jared, you're becoming more of a meme every day."

Jared smiled softly, "That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"Oh, I'm sure."

"You have no idea," Jared smirked at his friend.

Zoe poked her head in again, "Jared, I need your Tumblr logic, what's the difference from liking someone and a crush?" 

"It's a crush if they get a haircut and they're ugly."

"Thank you!"

Zoe vanished again.

Connor flopped down on his bed, "When are you leaving?"

"Uh, soon."

"You can stay, you know that."

"Yeah, but Mom said it was important, so I better see what's going on."

"You have to stay over next week. Mom thinks that you don't like us."

"But I'm her third kid! I love your family!"

"Okay then!"

Jared started laughing. He wasn't sure why, but he did. Connor joined in and Jared fell out of the desk chair.

"Are you okay?" Connor ran over and pulled Jared up.

"Fine. I told you I'm a klutz."

Jared noted that Connor hadn't let go of his hand yet.

"Okay, fair point."

Jared pulled his hand away and grabbed his bag from the ground. "Call if you need help," Jared commanded. "I've gotta go."

"Okay, later."

Connor held out his arms and Jared rolled his eyes before accepting the hug. He pulled away quickly and walked out the door. He didn't want to go home, but it wasn't avoidable. Not today.

 

Jared parked his car and walked into the house. The living room was full of people. Audrey was among them.

"Hey honey!" Audrey waved him over. "It's just church people that Dave invited over."

His mother was atheist. Jared was Jewish. The house was full of Catholic people.

"Oh. Why?"

"Dave got a promotion," Audrey grinned. "It's a big deal to him. You can hang out in your room, I know this isn't your scene."

Jared nodded and went to his room. He dropped his bag off before grabbing his metal water bottle. Now was a good chance to grab booze. He walked through the crowd and filled the bottle with ice from the freezer. As predicted, a bottle of Speyside was in the cabinet. If anyone saw him they would think he was getting it for a guest. Jared poured the liquid into his bottle before putting the booze away and taking his water bottle back upstairs. Did Jared have a drinking problem? Not really. He wasn't a drunk. He would make this last for weeks.

Jared sat down on his bed and started tearing into his homework.

**[Connor]**

**we doin costumes for halloween again?**

**[Jared]**

**uh...what did you have in mind????**

**[Connor]**

**...you got anything?**

**[Jared]**

**Harry frickin Potter**

**[Connor]**

**no**

**[Jared]**

**...........**

**UHHHHH**

**SExy MaID?!?!**

**[Connor]**

**That's gay**

**even for me**

**[Jared]**

**umm**

**how bout...**

**HEATHERS!!!!!!!!**

**[Connor]**

**....**

**im listening**

**[Jared]**

**I'm so going as chandler you can fight me**

**[Connor]**

**IM DUKE**

**[Jared]**

**NO THATS ZOE YOU BAFOON**

**BE MCNAMARA YOU LIL TWERP!**

**[Connor]**

**fine**

**[Jared]**

**thx!!!!!!!!**

**IVE ALREALY GOT A SKIRT!**

**[Connor]**

**...why??**

Connor didn't need to know the real reason. The skirt wasn't even his, it just got left at the house once.

**[Jared]**

**My mom**

**[Connor]**

**ok.**

**g2g**

**[Jared]**

**biiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaa~~~~~~~~**

Jared put the phone down and went back to his work. It wasn't difficult, just time consuming.

"Jared!" Dave was knocking on the door.

Jared threw his books down and rushed to the door. He opened it and peeked his head out.

"Yes?"

"I need you to help me serve the guests," Dave said. "Let me see how you're dressed."

Jared opened the door wider and pulled his body into view.

"Put on a longer shit," Dave commanded. "No one needs to see all that."

Jared nodded and pulled a sweatshirt on over his t-shirt. Dave looked pleased. Jared was shown downstairs and he was handed a tray of ham and pickle rolls. Dave pulled him around the room, offering the snacks to all his guests.

"David, this is a wonderful party." a woman said. "I have to say, you definitely deserve this promotion."

_That's what you think._

"Thank you, Lucy," Dave responded, smiling.

 

After the party Jared was assigned to cleaning up, Audrey had work early in the working, and Dave was Dave. He was finishing up taking out the trash when Dave approached him.

"Thank you for being good tonight," he said, clapping Jared's shoulder.

What the fuck? "You're welcome."

"If you keep your mouth shut, maybe cover up more, you could possibly pass off as good looking," Dave decided.

There it was. "Okay."

"Have you been told you look like your father?"

"...No. No one talks about him."

"That's because he was the wrong kind of man." Dave ran his finger down the bridge of Jared's nose. "He had this nose. How Audrey loved him is beyond me."

"My father was not a-"

Dave slapped him across the face.

"He was selfish. A glory hog. Now he's not here because of that. You would be wise to not be like him."

Jared ignored the sting, "You didn't know him!"

"Neither did you. Why are you so disrespectful?"

Jared was pulled down to the basement. Dave dug his fingers into Jared's hair and slammed him repeatedly against the cement wall.

"I hate you," Dave said calmly. "I wish you were dead. Die, if this is how you will be. You tripped on the rug."

Dave threw Jared to the ground before walking away. Jared waited for the door to close before he let the tears fall.

 

Jared stayed in the basement all night. He just moved himself to the couch. He was exhausted. In the morning he finally crept back to his room and shut himself in his bathroom. Besides a bruise on the side of his face, all the damage was hidden. Jared took a painkiller before going back to his room and finally finishing his homework.

 

"Jared!" Dave's voice called.

Jared walked down the stairs and met Dave in the parlor.

"Yes?"

"I have to go to the store. I want the floors washed before I'm back. I already vacuumed."

Jared nodded and went to his task before Dave could say another word. Once Dave had drove away, Jared allowed himself to relax a bit. He plugged his earbuds in and started playing his "Happiness" playlist. It was a very secret playlist.

"Well please don't judge," Jared hummed. "It was mad late. I had a lot to drink, but I was only being safe."

Jared wasn't sure why, but that song never failed to make him smile. Meghan Trainor was his jam.

"Don't act like you've never been there. Seven am with the bedhead. Everyone here's done the walkashame."

Jared finished the floors quickly and gave himself a good half hour to jam out.

"Well, woah. You can punch real good. You've lasted longer than I thought you would. So hey, Mr. No-Name-Kid, if some night you're free. Wanna fight for me? If you're still alive. I would fight for you. If you would fight for me!"

Jared's phone started ringing. Connor.

"Hello?" Jared hummed.

_"Hey Jared."_ Connor's voice cackled through the speaker.  _"Uh, can you help me with the chem homework?"_

Jared ran up to his room, "Yeah! Uh, totally."

_"Thanks J."_

Super smart best friend to the rescue.

 

Jared decided to check Connor's secret Instagram account. No one Connor knew followed this account. Jared only knew because he had caught Connor posting on it secretly. There were no pictures of his face, or anyone's for that matter. It was all art. So Jared made a meme account that had a similar concept, except memes and not art. He had been following the art account for months. Today his story surprised him.

**Wanna hear about my life?**

**{Yes} {No}**

Jared clicked yes and went to the next part. There was a picture of Connor's feet with the next bit.

**Okay, so...I am a very gay individual. And I just...wish that some straight people weren't straight??**

**Anyway, I dunno, I just get frustrated when there are hot straight ppl around.**

**Me: All the hot guys are either taken or straight.**

**My soulmate, if I have one: I am _RIGHT HERE!!!!_**

"Well," Jared mumbled to himself. "I'm not a hot guy, but hey, I'm gay."

He went to the next part. A picture of his sketchbooks cover.

**So....yeah. My gay ass can't compute half the time. I was on the phone with a guy for an hour today and I honestly got so caught up in his voice that I forgot why I even called.**

**Sooooooooooooooooo**

**Thanks for coming to my TED Talk?**

The story ended there. Connor posted a new picture of a drawing. It was a very well shaded letter L. Jared liked the picture before turning his phone off. His head was pounding again. Jared took a swig of his Speyside and took another painkiller. He had waited long enough.

"Jared!"

Jared hurried into the living room.

"As you know, I got a promotion," Dave said slowly, like Jared was stupid.

"Yes, congratulations."

"Well, I am going to be traveling for long periods of time, starting right before Thanksgiving. I need you to know that I will expect you to not give into the demons while I am gone. Just because I will be gone, doesn't mean that your punishments will stop. I expect you to behave."

"Of course."

"Now, I have to leave you a reminder."

_Shit!_

Dave pulled Jared to the basement. Jared spotted the knife that had been hidden behind his stepfathers back. fuck, it was an exacto-knife, Jared was familiar with this punishment.

"Where should I put it?"

"Shoulder? That way no one can see it?"

"See, you're learning," Dave gave Jared a soft smile. Like he was proud of Jared knowing where to hide wounds. "But, we will do the shoulder blade, just to be safe."

Jared nodded and peeled off his shirt, letting his stepfather have access to the skin on his back. This would be the third word carved into his skin. One was already on his right shoulder blade. The other was on the small of his back. Dave somehow made the words look like they were meant to be there. The writing was even, and clear. All scarred over perfectly.

Jared felt the knife dig into his left shoulder blade and he braced himself. Trying to guess the letters was usually helpful with ignoring the pain. D-E-M-O-N. Oh, lucky him.

Jared was handed a towel and then left to himself. Then it finally hit. The last strand of hope was gone.

"These punishments are going to kill me," Jared whispered, trying to stop the bleeding."Dave is going to kill me."

Jared laid against the wall and slowly broke down.


	4. Chapter Four

Jared bound up the steps to the Murphy house. He knew he was allowed to let himself in, so he just walked in.

"Hey Tera, you want some?" Jared yelled, walking towards the stairs.

"THIS BITCH EMPTY!" Zoe yelled, beckoning Jared to her room. "I'm so ready for today."

"Halloween is always awesome here," Jared nodded. "Where's your brother?"

"He went to get booze," Zoe shrugged. "Party starts in a few hours, I wanna be prepared."

"Aren't you only inviting the jazz band kids?"

"Well, the jazz band kids invite the regular band kids, and they invite the choir kids, and the choir kids invite the theater kids, and the theater kids invite the emo kids."

"You gonna Chandler me?" Jared gestured to Zoe's makeup and her outfit that was set out.

"Of course," Zoe beamed, sitting Jared down at her desk. "Should we put blue on your lips and down your chin?"

"That would be so badass!"

Zoe removed Jared's glasses and started doing his makeup. Jared had stole his mother's nail polish and painted his nails red in the early hours of the morning. It was necessary.

"We need some tunes..." Zoe mumbled as she painted blue onto Jared's chin. "Hey Siri! Play Jared's Halloween playlist!"

_"Playing Jared's Halloween playlist~"_

Zoe started tapping her foot to the music as Halloween from Be More Chill played behind them. It didn't take Zoe long to make Jared look awesome, and soon Jared was able to go change. When Jared stepped out of the guest bathroom he tied his red converse before going back to Zoe. That was the one thing they agreed to change, none of them liked heels. Jared even found a red bow to tie around his head since he couldn't wear a scrunchy.

"Damn," Zoe was pulling her stockings up. "You really went all out this year."

"Yes. I. did."

"I'M BACK!" Connor yelled from downstairs.

"BOOZE!" Zoe cried, running down the stairs.

"But it's cheap," Jared chided, following Zoe.

"Hey Jared," Connor whispered, meeting his eye.

And now Jared felt weird because he was wearing a fucking skirt in front of Connor Lucas Murphy. At least the stockings covered almost all of his legs.

"Hi," Jared responded, putting on a brave face. Connor looked absolutly adorable in his costume.

"Oh, I invited Evan," Zoe said. "And he's either going as JD or Veronica."

"Keep him away from the good booze and I don't particularly care," Jared said. He went to the garage and found what he was looking for.

"Is anyone else concerned how Jared knows where the booze that was originally in the house is, and we don't?" Zoe asked.

"It's not my fault your father trusts me, Ms. Tried-to-eat-a-firework-while-drunk," Jared chided.

"I get drunk one time!"

"Well, it's your party so you're on patrol." Connor warned.

"I assigned Evan and Alana to be my backup," Zoe assured.

Jared held up the jar full of apple pie. "Shall we have a drink?"

"We shall," Zoe nodded, grabbing the plastic cups.

Jared poured the drinks and put the jar away in the freezer. "To Heathers." He held his glass up.

"To booze," Zoe added in.

"To drag queens," Connor grinned.

Jared rolled his eyes and sipped at his drink. Connor and Zoe instantly started coughing.

"Jared, how do you drink that?"

Jared took another sip, "Like this."

The Murphy siblings just gave him a look before downing their drinks and coughing again.

 

Jared was most likely the most sober person here. There were drunk musical kids everywhere. Evan was drunk, he ended up going as Veronica, Zoe was tipsy, Alana was also drunk, and Connor was fucking wasted. Like...bad. Jared just sat, sipping on his cup. He wasn't drinking the beer that Connor grabbed, he brought the bourbon out and mixed that with some pop that he had found. Around one in the morning Connor stumbled over.

"Fuck you." Connor muttered.

"Connor, you're drunk, you should go to bed." Jared wasn't phased by this stuff.

Jared pulled Connor to his room despite his whining. Jared closed the door behind them and locked it, that way no drunk kids wandered in.

"Sometimes I hate you," Connor muttered.

""Why?"

"Because you're  _straight!"_

Jared twitched."Well, sorry to disappoint."

"No, you don't get it!" Connor whined. "I want you! And you had to go and be straight!"

"Connor, you don't mean that."

"Yes I do, you're the sexiest man I've ever met."

Alright, if drunk Connor wanted to be dumb, Jared could roll with that.

"Oh, I'm sure."

"You are."

"Connor, shut up."

Connor got up and shoved Jared into the wall. "I mean it."

"Connor, just stop. Go to bed."Connor was getting a little close.

Connor leaned forward more, "No."

Jared was terrified. Not of Connor, but how close he was. He was so focused on his fears that he barely noticed that Connor was hovering over his face.

"I really wish you weren't straight," Connor murmured.

Jared felt Connor's lips press against his, and he did nothing. He didn't kiss back. Connor Lucas Murphy was kissing him, and Jared did  _nothing._

"You're the best friend I could ever ask for," Connor said, kissing him again. "And you just had to be straight."

"I'm sorry," Jared whispered. All Jared could smell was the alcohol on Connor's breath, and it ruined everything. Because it wasn't real.

"You're really pretty," Connor babbled, fussing with Jared's jacket.

"What do you want?"

"I want you to believe me."

Jared was close to tears, he wasn't 100% sure why. "I can't."

"I can at least try to make you believe." 

_Connor, you have no fucking idea how many emotions I am having right now. Could you stop being super romantic because I cannot handle this._

Connor was back to messing with the jacket, but now he was trying to get it off.

"No." Jared was surprised by his tone. "Don't take off my jacket."

Connor kissed him again. "Fine."

Jared felt Connor pushing him again, but this time he landed on Connor's bed.

_Shitshitshitshitshit!_

Connor took Jared's shoes off and smiled at his friend like it was nothing. He clearly was going to continue, but something made Connor stop.

"Consent is key," Connor said.

Jared blinked back the tears. This was so wrong. But, then again, Jared knew it wasn't real. Connor was probably just touch starved and this was his subconscious trying to solve the issue with someone he trusts. If Dave found out about anything, he'd be dead. But, who would tell?

Jared took a deep breath, "It's okay."

_Lies._

He let a few tears escape before he pulled it together.

 

Jared couldn't sleep. Connor Lucas Murphy gave him a blowjob. It wasn't just that. Connor Lucas Murphy gave him a blowjob and Jared didn't respond at all. Hell, it wasn't just  _that._ Connor Lucas Murphy gave him a blowjob, Jared didn't respond,  _and_ Connor Lucas Murphy, ** _his **b** est friend_**, fucking _came in his pants._  

Well, Connor was wearing a skirt and spandex. But close enough. Now Jared was wide awake, and very uncomfortable with the fact that Connor was asleep next to him. Jared slipped out of bed and grabbed his backpack. He finally trusted himself to change out of his costume. Jared caught a glimpse of his face in the mirror and saw the blue on his chin. The color that had been on his lower lip was gone. He washed off the makeup before grabbing a spare blanket from the foot of the bed and sleeping on the floor. His brain wasn't ready for what would happen if Connor remembered what had happened.

 

"Guys?" Zoe was banging on the door. "Guys!"

Jared felt sick to his stomach. He got up and opened the door. Zoe was still in her costume. It was a miracle Connor had changed before crashing into bed.

"Ugh!" Connor grumbled, rolling out of bed.

"We've got to clean up."

"I'm hungover." Connor whispered. "Really bad."

Connor looked pale. Worse compared to normal. Jared shoved him towards the bathroom and went to helping Zoe. They still had school. Jared found Evan passed out under the kitchen table, but he was the  only stray party goer.

"Up and at em," Jared poked Evan in the ribs.

Evan just slumped a bit. Thank god they all wore spandex with the skirts.

"I'll get him, Jared," Zoe assured. "Just check for trash for me. I did most of the cleaning last night."

So Jared took the trash out and picked up the stray pieces. Connor came down the stairs right before they left, he still looked sick.

"Hey," Connor said, smiling at Jared.

"Hi."

Jared handed Connor a thermos full of coffee.

"Ugh, you're a life savior, I swear," Connor laughed.

"I try."

Zoe came out of the kitchen with Evan.

"I'm gonna get dressed," Evan mumbled.

Jared watched him stumble away, and Zoe went to change clothes. You couldn't tell there had been a party.

"How drunk were you?" Jared looked to Connor, trying very hard to not remember the night before.

"Ugh, I blacked out."

"When?"

"Uh, trying to twerk?"

Jared pressed his lips together, he remembered that too. Not now gay thoughts.

"Idiot," Jared said, nudging Connor.

"Don't remember anything after that?"

"No. What did I do?"

"Called me an asshole a bunch," Jared said. He was going to test a theory. "You were physically throwing yourself at me when I tried to get you to go to bed." He started a fake laugh. "I had to hold your hand until you fell asleep, calling me an asshole the entire time."

Jared could have sworn he saw Connor's cheeks turn pink, but that was probably the nausea he was clearly trying to suppress. Or he was embarrassed about what had happened. Let's be real, he's probably embarrassed.

"Ugh, sorry," Connor said.

"ZOE! I'M TAKING CONNOR TO SCHOOL!"

"BYE!"

Jared walked out the door with Connor in tow. They got into his car and Jared started the drive to school.

 

Jared returned home that afternoon and he instantly started on his homework. It was one of the few things Dave approved of. He was so focused that he didn't notice when his mom came in.

"Jare?"

He looked up, "Hmm?"

"Did you want to go visit-"

"No."

"Look, I know you don't get along-"

"No. Please."

Dave would not approve visiting _them_.

"Okay," Audrey ruffled his hair. "Just thought I should ask. I'm gonna go over this weekend, since I've got a business trip next week."

"What trip?" Jared put his book down.

"Oh, I didn't tell you?" Audrey seated herself at his desk. "I've got a client in California. And then I have one in Nevada. It's a week long trip."

Sometimes Jared forgot his mother was a real estate agent. Sometimes he forgot he had a mom.

"Oh. Have fun."

Audrey smiled, "I will. And I'll be gone for only a week, so don't miss me that much."

Audrey got up and left.

"I won't."

Jared decided to start back up with his homework. But he kept drifting back to  _them_ , and Jared didn't like thinking about  _them_ so he wasn't going to think about  _them_.

**[Connor]**

**can u come over???**

**[Jared]**

**im not a booty call tho**

**[Connor]**

**not funny**

**can u or not?**

**[Jared]**

**what you need?**

**[Connor]**

**uhhhhhhh**

**im kinda maybe sorta high??????**

**[Jared]**

**ur hopeless, i hope you know that.**

**[Connor]**

**bring food plz**

**[Jared]**

**be there in ten**

**[Connor]**

**yay! thank you!**

**ur the best**

**[Jared]**

**tell me something i already know**

**[Connor]**

**go!**

Jared got up and placed his ear to the door. From the sound of things, Dave was talking with his mother. Jared took his chance and hurried down the stairs had slipped out the door. Comforting friend to the rescue. Jared stopped at a gas station and grabbed Connor's favorite snacks before driving to his house and carrying the bag inside with him.

"Connor?" Jared called, knocking on the door.

"Come in!"

Jared walked inside and found Connor with a joint between his lips. The window was open and he could see the ceiling fan running.

"Why do you do this to me?" Jared asked.

"Took away the nausea," Connor shrugged, sitting up. "Did you bring me goodies?"

Jared tossed the bag over. He didn't like when Connor smoked, but knew better than to try and stop him. The things he did for the boy he was gay for.

"Ugh, you're the best," Connor placed the joint on his leg and smiled at Jared.

"You're welcome."

"Are you gonna stay?"

"I probably shouldn't..."

"Okay. Goodbye hug?"

"You're too gay for me, I swear." Jared still held out his arms.

"You need some gay in your life." Connor squeezed Jared before grabbing his joint again. "Bye."

"Bye."

Jared walked back out of the house and hurried home before anyone would notice. Audrey was still talking with Dave, so Jared decided to sneak back to his room.

 

"Jared?"

Oh great, Dave was knocking on the door. Jared got up and opened the door a bit.

"Hmm?"

Oh shit, Audrey was there too.

"Honey, you were at Connor's house yesterday, right?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Okay, thank you for being honest."

Where was this going?

"Jared, did you drink at the party?"

"Yes, we all were. I was probably the only sober person there though."

"We just wanted to make sure you were safe," Audrey patted his head.

"Yeah, the Murphy's allow Zoe to throw the party. They agree to let her as long as she keeps it under control and as long as she cleans up. It's cool."

Audrey smiled, "Okay. Just making sure."

And then she walked away. Dave stayed. Fuck.

"If I ever hear about you drinking again, you will be punished," Dave growled. "But, for now, I'll pray for you to get better. I just don't understand."

"What?"

"Your beatings are supposed to teach you lessons, you don't learn anything."

"I'm sorry-"

"You're a bad kid. I wish they had killed you."

Dave walked away, and Jared closed the door again.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically all about Connor tot's secret Instagram... (Yes I called him Connor tot)

It had been a few days since, ahem, the Halloween incident. Jared was going to leave the house in a few minutes, but he decided to check Connor's secret Instagram first.

 

**Gay Update!**

**Look at your own risk!**

 

Okay, that was ominous. Jared clicked to the next part of the story and saw a picture of Connor's bag.

 

**Okay, gay update. Basically, and I realize what a cliche this is, basically I've got a crush on my best friend.**

 

What secret best friend did Jared not know about? Now he was mad, who the hell did Connor like? He clicked to the next part, a picture of his boots.

 

**Now, my best friend, I'll just call him J. We've been friends since middle school and apparently I went fucking cuddles on him on Halloween while drunk...so yay me.**

 

_What..._

Jared clicked to the next part, it was a picture of his bedroom ceiling.

 

**SOOOO, my gay ass doesn't know what to do. I know very well that J is straight, and this shit confuses the hell out of me.**

**J doesn't seem to get that I'm actually into him, so I at least have that, but I'm worried he'll find me out.**

 

Holy shit. Holy  _fucking_ shit! Connor liked him, correction,  _likes him_. Jared sat down on the floor and thought this over. He had power, he could totally do whatever he wanted right now. He could torture Connor, but he wouldn't do that. He would have to keep that he knew a secret. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

 

**Ask me shit about my issues:**

**{Ask a question}**

 

Jared turned off his phone, he needed time to process. But still, he couldn't help but grin like an idiot on the way to school. And when he got to school. And when he was walking to class. Thinking about it just made him smile more.

"Hey Jared," Connor said, looking up from his book.

"Hi!" Shit, he sounded too excited. "Uh..."

"And what's got you in a good mood?" Connor smirked at him.

Oh damn, this was way harder than it should have been, "Uh...I aced the test yesterday."

"Oh, well, that's normal for you," Connor chuckled. "I think you're a better tutor than the one I had last year, I got a B- on it."

"Nice," Jared grinned again.

"Oh yeah, mom squealed and threw her arms around me when I showed her."

"That's normal for her, she does that with me."

"GUYS!" Zoe's voice cried as she ran into the room. "JARED! CONNOR! I'M ABOUT TO CRY!"

"Well, it's tears of joy," Jared laughed.

Evan came into the room behind her, "Jared, you're gonna love this. She already freaked on me."

"What happened?" Connor asked.

Zoe had tears streaming down her face, but she was laughing while she talked, "I won us tickets!"

"To what?" Connor smirked.

"HEATHERS! ON! BROADWAY!"

Jared stood up, "HOLY SHIT! WHEN?"

"THANKSGIVING BREAK!"

Jared ran around to Zoe, placed his hands on her shoulders, and kissed her forehead, "Zoe Murphy, you are the best thing to happen to me."

"Fuck you," Connor called.

"Quit being jealous, I'm allowed a side ho," Jared joked.

Jared could see Connor try to hide his reaction, but now Jared was looking for it.

"Oh yeah, me and Jared are dating now," Zoe threw an arm around his neck. She said it seriously.

"What?" Evan piped up.

"Babe, you said we'd wait," Jared hissed.

"Jared, you said we would say something two weeks ago."

"Well, I wasn't ready, and I wasn't ready now."

Connor looked livid.

"Connor, I'm gonna go make out with Zoe, I might be late for class."

He started walking out of the room, Zoe's hand in his, when he felt a fist dig into his hair and pull him away.

"No, you fucking aren't," Connor growled, backing Jared into a wall.

It took all of his control for Jared not to break down. He had way too many situations like this at home.

"Connor, it was a joke!" Zoe cried. "I'm not dating him, he's like my brother."

And Connor's fingers brushed against the bumps his hair hid as he let go.

"Alright," Connor nodded. "Scram kids," he gestured to Evan and Zoe.

Once the two were gone Connor turned back to Jared.

"What happened to your head?"

Jared couldn't meet his eyes, "I fell, it's nothing new."

"Jared, what the hell? How does this always happen to you?"

"I don't know. Connor, I'm fine, don't worry."

"How did it happen?"

"I fell."

"From what?"

"I fell out of bed."

"God, can you try not to do that anymore."

"I don't control it," Jared sighed. "But I'm trying my best to get better."

"Okay," Connor nudged him. "Trying is better than not."

That was the most awkward sentence to come out of Connor's mouth.

Jared sat back down and pulled out his phone and went back to Instagram. There were questions in.

 

**{GAy?}**

**Yes**

There were two more slides.

 

**{Do you ever plan on telling J about how you feel?}**

**Well, I'm too wimpy to tell him. I'd probably scare him. And, you know, he's** _straight_ **. SOOOO...no.**

 

**{What if he wasn't straight? Like, what if he was gay/bi/pan or whatever and he didn't want to be outed??? (BTW I SHIP IT)}**

**Well, that would be a dream come true. But a still a dream. (THX FOR SHIPPING IT!)**

**#Gonnadiealone**

 

Well, shit.

Jared went back and asked his own question.

 

**{Why do you like him? What does he look like? What would you do if he liked you back?}**

 

 

Now all he had to do was wait. Connor was reading again, so he turned his phone off.

 

"So, Zoe, how are we getting to New York?" Jared asked.

"You and I drive?" Zoe shrugged.

"Road trip!" Jared gasped.

Connor was currently talking with Evan, so he checked the secret Instagram again.

 

**{Why do you like him? What does he look like? What would you do if he liked you back?}**

**OOOOkay. Well, I like J b/c we've been friends for so long and he's the only person who understands me. He knows a lot about me that no one else knows. He's one of the best things to happen in my life, and I can't imagine what would have happened to me (or him) if we hadn't become friends. He's just amazing.**

**(Next slide will have a drawing of him I did)**

**If J liked me back? Uh...ask him out? Write fucking poems about how happy he makes me? Write a poem about what I like about him? (OOOOO IMMA WRITE ONE RN!) I don't know...I'd probably be awkward about it. Surprised probably. I dunno, I don't really like the question, since I start picturing a world where I could be with him, and then I snap to reality when he makes a joke about dating my sister and the dream is dead.**

 

He clicked to the next part and saw a sketch of...apparently him. He just...didn't look like what Jared saw in the mirror, not that he looked too often when he was reminded every day that he was ugly. The drawing of him had him seated at Connor's desk, which happened a lot, and he wasn't looking forward. You could only see the side of his face. Then Jared recognized the photo the picture had come from. It was from a study time, he refused to use the term "study date," at the study time Zoe had opened the door and snapped a picture of him at the desk and Connor reading on his bed. The photo had been sent to both of them later. Connor had just drawn the part with Jared. There was the promised poem in the corner.

 

**JK**

**You can somehow dance like nobody's even there**

**You can make me smile when I feel like no one else could care**

**And though you'll never see me in that light**

**I know that you're my star that keeps shining bright**

**You deal with my anger, act like it's not a raging sea**

**And that somehow makes me think that you might be perfect for me**

**I know you're always there for me my dear**

**And just know that in my heart I'll always hold you near**

**But your name is JK, my feelings are a joke**

**And that makes me feel like a fool who does coke**

**So, I'll keep wishing from afar, even though we're close**

**Truth be told, sometimes how I care for you feels like an overdose**

**So I'll hold my feelings close, until death do I part**

**Or until you get a girlfriend and my world stops and falls apart.**

 

 

This wasn't a two lined, shitty poem. This was beautiful. He decided to finish the last three slides quick.

 

**{UHHH, CAN I SHIP IT?}**

**I mean...I ship it sooooooo, yes**

 

**{What would be his spirit animal?}**

**(This has a list)**

**1\. Heather Chandler**

**2\. Squip**

**3\. Memes**

**(He loves memes, but he's Heather Chandler, and he's smart and cocky like a squip)**

 

**{What's J's fav musical meme?}**

**...**

**UHHHHH**

**OOOHHHH I KNOW!  
**

**If Regina is the sun, then I'm a disco ball. 'Cause I'm just as bright and fun! If you've had alcohol.**

**(Legit heard him singing that a few weeks ago and asked him wtf he was doing and he just shrugged)**

 

Aw, he got the musical meme right. He would have said it was "She's leaving, just like my dad," but that didn't sit with him right. Not with his history.

"Jared?" Connor poked him.

"Hmm?"

"Can you come over?"

"Uh, sure."

"Thanks."

 

"So...why'd you ask me over?" Jared asked, plopping down at the desk.

"...You're my best friend?"

"Oh yeah! Hey bestie!"

"Oh my god Jared," Connor snorted. "We don't have homework, so...wanna watch a movie?"

"Heathers!"

"We always watch that."

"Shrek!"

"Alright, fine."

So Jared handed Connor the laptop and they sat on the bed to watch the movie. Jared noted that they were pretty close together. He pretended not to notice. Then Connor scooted closer and their legs were touching. Jared once again ignored. He was never gonna get over Connor, was he?

**[Dave]**

**Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in forced labor. ~Proverbs 12:24**

**For no word from God will ever fail. ~Luke 1:37**

**Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. ~Proverbs 16:3**

**We will speak when I get home from church today, Jared.**

Jared acted like nothing was wrong. He didn't need Connor any more suspicious.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this story, like I said before, has a plan. A basic plan that can be edited, but has crucial moments and already has an ending planned. Let me say, next chapter is a HUGH story plot point. I can't wait to write more suffering for Jared!
> 
> Have fun next chaper!
> 
> (Whenever I get to it)


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared fucks up: the chapter

Jared tried to make his hair cover the cut on his head. This time it had actually been an accident. It wasn't a bad cut at all, he had dropped a book on his face and the corner clipped his head, it was already healing nicely. Once Jared was satisfied he walked out of the house and drove to school. Dave was leaving for his first trip tonight, and Audrey was gone for work, so Jared would have to house to himself as he packed for New York. They would be leaving later that night.

And then his phone started ringing. And of course it was Connor. He was grateful for his phone being synced to the car. He answered.

"Hey," Jared called, grinning like a dope.

 _"Hey, I slept in, can you pick me up?"_ Connor's voice came through.  _"Zoe left without me."_

"I'll be there in a few minutes," Jared assured. "See you in a bit."

_"Bye!"_

Connor was waiting when Jared pulled in.

"Get in loser, we're going shopping!"

Connor laughed, "Are we in search for the best grades? We've got tests in almost all of our classes today."

"Yes, you better pass with all the tutoring I've done with you," Jared warned. "Okay?"

"Yep, I'm feeling confident."

There was no denying that the two had become closer. Jared picked up on every detail that happened. They gave each other more hugs, they were practically cuddling whenever they watched a movie together, they ended up falling asleep on each other more often than was normal for friends. But Jared made sure to keep it a "no homo" situation between them.

When the two walked into the building they found Zoe talking with Evan, per usual.

"Zoe, you forgot to bring me to school," Connor sighed.

"No, I just didn't bring you since Evan needed a ride."

"Sorry," Evan squeaked.

"It's fine," Connor assured. "Jared was still available."

"Who's ready for Heathers?" Jared grinned. "Because I'm practically vibrating."

"That's the coffee," Zoe snorted. "And remember, it isn't Broadway, that's how I got the tickets so cheap."

"True," Jared nodded. "Let's get to class Connor, I want today to be over."

 

"Jared?"

"Yes Dave?"

"Thank you for leaving Thanksgiving to me and your mother," Dave said. "It'll be better without your unholy aura."

"Well, I can't say that I was looking forward to spending my time off from school with you."

Why did he say that? Things were actually getting better, he hadn't been hurt in a week, why did he have to ruin it.

"Come here."

Jared did as told. He waited for the pain, but nothing happened.

"Apologize."

"I'm sorry."

And then he was punched in the face. Jared flinched as he stumbled back. His glasses were broken. Split down the middle. Fuck. Dave was rubbing his knuckles.

"My cab is here," Dave said. "Have fun."

Once his stepfather was gone Jared ran to the bathroom. The glasses absorbed most of the hit. He'd have small bruise and that would be the worst. Except now Jared could barely see two feet in front of his face. He didn't have spare glasses and he didn't wear contacts. Fuck.

He stumbled down the hall to his mother's room. He went to her side of the bed and opened the night stand. There was a picture of Jared's dad in the drawer, next to a pair of glasses. Jared tried them on and looked around the room. They fit, but the prescription was a bit stronger than his. They would work.

The reason Jared always wore turtle shell glasses was because he remembered that his dad wore them. And he remembered that his mom kept his spare pair when she cleaned out his stuff. Jared glanced at the photo again. It wasn't just of his dad. His dad was standing, a baby in his arms. A younger man was standing a bit awkwardly off to the side, and a toddler was on his shoulders. His mom had one arm wrapped around his dad, and the other around the young man. Jared knew he was the toddler in the picture, the toddler was chubby. He put the photo back before leaving the room.

**Cameron Kleinman's Five Things**

**1\. Wore a watch on left hand (left handed)**

**2\. Wore glasses**

**3\. Awesome dad (at least from memory)**

**4\. Supportive as hell**

**5\. Betrayed by Dave (#wifestealer)**

 

 

Jared heard a honk outside and he grabbed his bag from the floor. He ran outside and locked the door behind him before he climbed into the backseat of Zoe's car.

"New York!" Jared cried.

"I'm going," Zoe assured. "Look, we're not gonna get there until three in the morning, so we'll do shifts for who's driving so we all get some sleep. I'm first, then Jared, and Connor is last. Kay?"

"Okay," Jared nodded. "Now let's go!"

"What tunes do we want while I drive?" Zoe asked.

"OOH! I'VE GOT A NEW MUSICAL AND IT'S THE SHIT!" Jared screamed.

"Jesus," Connor snapped. "I'm right here, don't scream."

Connor handed Jared the phone and he started playing the new musical.

 

_Oh you're alive_

_I suppose that's good news for ya_

_But it means a lot more paper work for me_

_So don't expect me to be happy to see ya_

_Of course being alive is temporary_

 

"What is this?" Connor laughed.

"Another Terrible Day, you uncultured swine," Jared poked Connor in the arm.

"Let's just give it a chance," Zoe reasoned. "It sounds colorful."

"Thank you," Jared grinned. "I'm glad you enjoy it."

 

Jared eventually fell asleep in the car and when he woke up Connor was shaking his shoulder.

"What?" Jared grumbled.

"We're at the hotel J, c'mon," Connor murmured. He was usually nice when someone was sleepy.

"Okay," Jared got out of the car and almost instantly fell down since his foot was asleep. Thankfully Connor caught him by the arm.

"You okay?" Connor asked, helping Jared up.

Jared ignored how Connor's eyes always betrayed his feelings, he seriously sucked at hiding how he felt now, "Yeah, foot's asleep."

The two walked into the building and Connor showed them to their room. Zoe had a bed, and the boys would switch who had the bed each night.

"You can have the bed first," Jared offered.

"No, you can," Connor insisted.

"Dude, just take the bed."

"I offered it to you first."

"No you didn't."

"I would have left you in the car if I wanted the bed. Take it."

"Oh my god!" Zoe cried, sitting up in her bed. "You're both mature adults! Share the bed and go to sleep! If you aren't in bed in two minutes I'll make both of you sleep in the car!"

Jared nodded and went into the bathroom to change quickly. He took an extra pillow to separate their bodies a bit. Connor took one side, Jared the other.

"Night," Connor whispered.

"Night," Jared murmured, taking off his glasses.

 

Jared woke up with a face full of Connor. Okay, well, the side of Connor's face. Connor was awake, but he was just laying there. Jared noted that they were locked at the ankle. He sat up and pulled away to get ready.

"Morning guys," Jared mumbled.

"Hey," Zoe called. "Coffee and donuts are on the table.

"Okay," Connor sighed, getting up.

Jared got the bathroom first that morning and then he let Connor in. The three just sat around their room while they woke up. Their room also had a small balcony.

"What do we want to do today?" Zoe asked.

"We should dare each other to do something," Jared said. "I dare Zoe, Zoe dares Connor, Connor dares me. Just to have some fun."

"Ooh, I like that!" Zoe grinned. "Okay, uh, Connor, I dare you to use your old barista skills and help out a cafe today."

"Alright," Jared nodded. "Zoe, I dare you to start singing a song in the street to earn money."

"Jared, I dare you to sing a song without killing my ears," Connor snorted.

"Let's go!" Jared cried.

The three left the hotel and got a cab to Manhattan. Connor had worked as a barista for only a few months, but Jared knew he loved that job. It didn't take long to find a coffee shop that clearly needed help, and it was the same franchise that Connor had worked for.

"Uh, do you need help?" Connor asked, quickly eyeing his sister and friend by the door.

"Sorry?" the young barista yelped.

"Uh, I can help you out, if you want," Connor explained. "I work here, it's my day off."

"Oh, that'd be great," the girl grinned. "Come on back."

And so Jared watched his mutual crush work on making weird coffee drinks for a better of ten minutes before the rush died down. Zoe took plenty of videos and pictures, so Jared wouldn't soon forget this.

"Thank you again," the girl grinned. "I don't actually recognize you though, what shift do you work?"

"Uh, I actually quit...like...two years ago," Connor said, running out the door.

Zoe cracked up as the girl completely went white. Jared just pulled Zoe out of the building and found Connor sitting on a bench.

"Zoe's turn," Jared decided. "What song do you want to sing?"

"Uh, I don't wanna do it for money," Zoe mumbled. "Me and Connor kinda have it good. I don't need money."

"True," her brother nodded. "But, correction, _Connor and I_  kinda have it good."

"Close enough!"

Jared allowed this change and soon Zoe was belting out Another Terrible Day on the street as people watched. She had apparently taken a liking to the song.

"So, Jared," Connor grinned. "When do I get to see your punishment?"

"After lunch," Jared assured. "Let's find a place to eat first."

So the group walked around the city, got a cab back to their hotel, and started walking around again. Jared was checking out prices on a restaurant when he spotted a familiar face across the street. He brushed it off as a face until he saw the tattoo on the mans shoulder. He knew one man with that face and that specific treble clef tattoo. Jared slipped out and went to the man.

"Graham?"

The man turned at his name being called and smiled at Jared.

"Jared! Good god how long has it been?"

"Uh...last year, around the holidays?"

"Right," Graham nodded. "What are you doing in New York?"

"Oh, well, my friends got me, her, and her brother tickets to see Heathers so...obviously I agreed to go. It's not Broadway or anything, just a random cast that they put together for a week. I'm still excited though."

"Ooh, you know that if the others find out about that-"

Jared laughed, "Trust me, I know. How's everyone doing?"

"Uh, well, pretty good," Graham nodded. "Your mom visits a lot. I'm really glad she likes me."

"Well, me too, obviously."

"Everything's been fine at the house. Little to no panic attacks from...well..."

"Right."

Graham pulled his hair back into a pony tail, "Well, this place agreed to let me do a show tonight, so that's why I'm here. Everyone understood. It's really good to see you Jared."

"Yeah, I-I I'll have more opportunities to visit soon, I promise, it'll just take some planning."

"Yeah...heard Dave got a promotion?"

"Yep, it's gonna be quiet around the house now."

"Would you text one of us if there was a chance we could go to you for a visit?"

"Actually...yeah!" Jared hadn't seen them in ages, he was ready to see them without worrying what Dave would do. "Uh, two Fridays from now. Can you bring everyone down?"

"Sure!" Graham grinned. "Everyone misses you, this'll be great. Oh, how about we take a picture so we can confirm the plan? Then the others can see you and...you definitely have new glasses Jared."

Jared nodded and took a picture with Graham. Once it was sent, Jared called the Murphy siblings across the street, deciding that they would have lunch at this place.

"Okay," Zoe hummed. "Let's play...That Guy is a Gigolo!"

Jared sat down across from Zoe at their table, "Like from  _Paper Towns_ , the John Green book?"

"Yes!" Zoe grinned. "Okay, Connor, you first."

Jared watched his friend scan the room until his eyes landed on Graham.

"Okay," Connor hummed. "That guy, he's been struggling to finish college, has a successful girlfriend who's too scared to lend him money. He's a family guy."

Jared snorted, "Nah, he's asexual. Has a boyfriend back home, they live together with the boyfriends family. The boyfriend and the family are all a mess. Trauma, drugs, but they're trying to get past it. His family hates when he leaves, but he takes his music career very seriously."

"Jared wins," Zoe chuckled. "Ooh! They do karaoke here! Jared, get up and don't kill Connor's ears."

Jared shook his head, but got up and signed up. Apparently Graham was hosting the karaoke until he went on in the afternoon. Jared got a few minutes to eat before he was called up.

"So, J, do you want to play or me to?" Graham asked.

"Uh, you please," Jared chuckled.

Graham nodded and grabbed a ukulele and started strumming.

"Everything you do it sends me higher than the moon with every twinkle in your eye you strike a match that lights my heart on fire," Jared sang. He barely remembered this song as it was. Connor was watching him contently. "When you're near, I hide my blushing face and trip on my shoelaces. Grace just isn't my forte, but it brings me to my knees when you say, 'Hello, how are you, my darling, today.' "

And then Jared realized how this song could totally blow his years of hiding that he was a big gay...fuck. Connor seemed happy though, so Jared didn't get up and run like he wanted to.

"I fall into a pile on the floor," Jared hummed. "Puppy love is hard to ignore, when every little thing you do, I do adore. We're as different as can be. I've noticed you're remarkably relaxed, and I'm overly uptight, we balance out each other nicely. You wear sandals in the snow, in mid-July I still feel cold. We're opposites in every way,but I can't resist it when you say 'Hello, how are you, my darling, today?' I fall into a pile on the floor, puppy love is hard to ignore, when every little thing you do, I do adore."

Now Jared was looking around the room, Zoe's jaw was dropped, her camera filming, Connor was smiling, and a look at Graham confirmed that he dealt with musical outbursts at home with the others.

"Finding words, I mutter," Jared sang, feeling brave and meeting Connor's gaze and holding it. "Tongue-tied twisted, foot in mouth, I start to stutter. Ha, ha, Heaven help me. 'Hello, how are you, my darling, today?' I fall into a pile on the floor, puppy love is hard to ignore. When every little thing you do, I do adore. Every little thing ba, ba, ba, ba. Every little thing, ba, ba, ba, ba. Every little thing you do, I do adore."

Jared practically ran back to his seat and kept his head down while he went back to eating.

"Jared, that was amazing," Connor grinned, squeezing Jared's arm quickly. "I honestly didn't think you could sing at all."

"I used to take classes," Jared mumbled. "But that was before...before mom remarried."

"Oh," Connor hummed. "Well, it's still cool that you're so talented."

"Yeah," Zoe nodded. "Can I add a clip of you singing to the Instagram post I'm making about the trip?"

"Sure," Jared smiled. "Just don't expect that all the time from me."

"We won't," Connor assured.

 

The rest of the day was awesome. They spent money on the weirdest candy in the world, they tried sneaking into a bar, they just had fun. Eventually Zoe was sent out on a quest for ice cream for them to eat while Jared took a nap since he over ate at dinner. He was still gonna eat the ice cream though, he wouldn't ever turn down ice cream.

Jared really liked his dream. He didn't dream much, mostly nightmares or blank sleep. When he did dream, he usually forgot them by morning. But the process of dreaming pleased him.

Jared sat up, it was quiet. The tv was on in the hotel room, but it was muted. Jared looked to his left and found Connor outside on the balcony. Jared got up and walked over next to him.

"Hey," Connor grinned, watching Jared lean against the railing right next to him.

Jared smiled, "Hi."

They just looked over the view together. Jared stood close to Connor without shame. Leaned against him a little bit and didn't regret it. This was why Jared loved dreaming.

"You feeling alright?" Connor asked, his face red.

"Yeah," Jared nodded, meeting Connor's eye. "This is probably the happiest I've been in years."

"Why?" Connor wrapped an arm around Jared's shoulder.

"Because life fucking sucks," Jared laughed. "I mean, everything in my life that could have gone wrong probably has."

"You don't have cancer," Connor noted, pulling Jared a bit closer.

"Not yet," Jared warned. "But, this here, this makes me happy. Me not internally panicking for once in my life, that's the best feeling."

"Why do you panic?"

"Because of everything, and because of nothing. Right now it's just gone."

"Oh, why is that?"

"Because right now I've got nothing to fear. No people to impress, no feelings to avoid, no comments that I have to worry about being offensive, I don't have to worry about how I look, or whether I'm not good enough, I'm just the raw me."

"Well, I like the raw you," Connor smiled.

"I figured you would," Jared whispered.

Jared pulled Connor into a hug and just let it last longer than normal. Dreaming allowed him to be free. Connor pulled back first, but not too much.

"Jare, what's up with you tonight?" Connor sounded a bit concerned, but couldn't shake the dopey smile on his face.

"I'm happy," Jared was grinning like a dope too. "You make me happy."

"Why?"

"Because even when you don't understand the half of what's going on, you're always there for me."

"Well, why wouldn't I be?"

"I haven't the faintest idea."

"Oh."

Jared let out a sigh, "Alright, this is taking too long."

"What is?"

Jared took his glasses off and tossed them inside the room, onto the bed.

"Don't you need those to see?" Connor asked.

"Not what I'm trying to see," Jared chuckled.

Jared was tired of waiting for his dream to get up to speed. He wrapped his arms around Connor's neck and pulled him into a kiss. He was finally going to kiss Connor Lucas Murphy back, even if it was a dream.

Connor's hands fumbled for a moment before planting on Jared's hips and keeping him close. Eventually Jared's hands found their way to Connor's hair and he laced his fingers into the locks. Jared lost track of time, how could he not? He felt Connor's lips trail down to his neck and he shivered.

"Jared," Connor whispered.

And holy shit Connor said his name like Jared was a life line. Jared had his eyes closed, but he opened them. All he could see was Connor. Wait, when did Connor start carrying him? Okay, whatever dream, you do you. Jared pulled Connor's chin back up and kissed his lips again. He glanced around, just to see if Connor was okay, and he caught his eye on the no smoking sign for their room. Right there, 'No Smoking' clearly for Jared to read.

Wait...people can't clearly see letters or read in dreams. He could count all nine letters. He could read. Oh shit. Oh fuck. What did he do?

"Connor," Jared whispered. "Please put me down."

Connor did as told and smiled big at Jared. The shorter boy forced himself not to run when he went back into their hotel room and put his glasses back on.

"You okay?" Connor asked.

"I...I...I'm gonna go pee," Jared announced, thus locking himself in the bathroom to regret his life choices. He checked the super secret Instagram to distract himself. It had been updated seconds ago. A picture of the balcony.

 

**OH MY GOD! BIG ASS GAY UPDATE! RN! AHHHHHHHHH!**

 

Jared clicked to the next part. A picture of Connor's smile. Just his smile, nothing else, only his grin, nothing else on his face.

 

**OKAY! LONG STORY SHORT! J MADE OUT W/ME! HAVING A GAY ATTACK AND WAITING FOR HIM TO LEAVE THE BATHROOM! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'M SMILING SO WEIRD RN! AGH! THIS DUDE, HE'S MY WORLD!**

**AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SO FUCKIN HAPPY RN!!!!!!!!**

**but im  also not gonna push this and imma be very slow and not make him worry that im like...crazy b/c why would i do that to him im being weird sorry!**

**SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

 

That night Connor still seemed pleased. Jared was currently pretending to sleep, as it was late, but Connor was right next to him and it wasn't possible.

"Jared?" Connor whispered, leaning over the pillow divider. "You up?"

"I am now," Jared muttered. "And look, I'm sorry for earlier. I was just..." he made up a quick lie, "I was feeling bi-curious, and I wanted to see if I was bi or not. I'm definitely straight. Sorry for doing that."

Jared saw Connor's eyes show the pain, but his face remained neutral. "You're joking, right?"

"No."

"Jared, there's no way-"

"I'm straight. Nothing happened tonight. We are friends, that is all we ever will be. End of discussion."

Connor flopped back down on his side of the bed. Jared was just about to drift off when he heard Connor whispering.

"I'll believe you're straight when you find a real excuse for making out with me."

 

The rest of the trip, Jared distanced himself from Connor. The only time Jared went back to normal was when Jared got his Heathers phone case signed by two of the cast memebers. It wasn't the original cast or anything, just a throw back week of the show done to earn money for cancer or something like that. Jared was still excited as hell about it and was physically jumping down the street as they waited for a cab. For that brief moment, Jared felt normal again.

 

Once they were home Jared was to stay the night at the Murphy house the day after they were back from school. Jared couldn't say no to Cynthia, so he showed up like planned. All night he barely spoke to Connor and lied about having a sore throat.

"Jared?" Connor called, causing Jared to look up. It was late, he was probably going to try and sleep soon.

"Yeah?"

"Can we please talk about-"

"Nothing happened, so there isn't anything to talk about," Jared snapped. "Please, turn around so I can change."

Connor turned the other way and Jared did too. He couldn't look at Connor for very long anymore. He changed into sweatpants and was changing his shirt when he felt a hand on his shoulder blade.

"Jesus!" Jared yelped, turning around whilst pulling his shirt over his head. "What the fuck, Connor?"

"Jared," Connor whispered. "What's on your back?"

_Shit!_

"Nothing, why do you think that there's something there?"

Connor placed a hand on Jared's arm, "Jared, there were scars on your back. I'd know self harm anywhere. What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything," Jared laughed.

"Did you join a cult?"

"What?"

"Jared, who did that?"

"Connor, there isn't anything there. Stop making a mess out of nothing."

"Then show me."

Jared met Connor's eye, "What?"

"Show me. If there isn't anything to see, you shouldn't mind."

There wasn't any getting out of this. Jared nodded and turned around again. He felt Connor lift up his shirt and read the words on his back. The shirt was put back down and Jared faced Connor again.

"Demon, evil, and pathetic," Connor whispered. "Who put that there?"

"No one."

"That's not a fucking birth mark Jared!"

"Stop worrying about shit you don't understand!"

"I would understand if you would tell me! Why would you do that to yourself?"

Jared let out a laugh, "You think I wanted that? You think I wanted words carved into my skin? You think I wanted to lie for years about who I am? I didn't ask for the scars, Connor! I didn't want the pain! I didn't ask for life to suck for me, but shit happens!"

"Jared..."

He was too far gone. The hysteria was getting to him, "I mean, it's okay that I'm treated like that 'cause it's _my_ fault. It's okay that he beats me because 'cause he's teaching me _lessons_. It's fine that no one knows because I know how to handle it!"

"Jared!" Connor snapped, grabbing Jared's shoulders. "Who beats you?"

"Can I fuck anything else up today!" Jared cried.

Connor pulled his friend into a hug, "Jared, who hurts you? Is it your mom?"

"She's not around enough to do that," Jared laughed, he didn't care that he was crying.

"It's your dad, isn't it?" Connor gasped. "That's why you never talk about him."

"NO!" Jared squirmed out of Connor's grasp. "God, my dad was a great guy!"

Connor thought a moment, "Dave?"

"Give the boy a prize!"

"How long has he been doing that to you?"

"Since he married my mom," Jared spat. "Stop worrying about me!"

"No, okay Jared, I am your best friend," Connor growled. "You can try and hide, I'm not doing this dramatic bullshit with you. I'm gonna comfort you, and help you in any way I can, and you're gonna accept that. Understand?"

Jared flinched when Connor tried to hug him again, but eventually he stopped squirming.

_First time to ever get help and you're pushing it away. Stop being a dick to the one guy who's trying._

"I'm sorry," Jared whispered.

"You don't need to be sorry," Connor shushed. "Just calm down, okay? We can talk more about this when you've calmed down. Please don't be sorry right now, I didn't know, it's not your fault."

Jared nodded and finally hugged Connor back. He was still crying, but he wasn't hysterical anymore.

"We aren't going to school tomorrow," Connor stated.

"Alright," Jared mumbled.

"Is he at your house right now?"

"No, he went on a trip last Saturday for work, won't be back until Sunday."

"We're going to your house then."

"Okay."

Connor pushed Jared onto the bed and threw a blanket at him. "We can just talk in the morning."

Jared nodded and took off his glasses. "Please don't tell anyone."

"Jared-"

"If anyone finds out, he'll kill me," Jared said. "He's gotten close before, I have no doubt he could do it. Please."

Connor sat near Jared's feet. "I'll think about it."

Jared nodded and drifted off surprisingly easily, considering the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally going to the doctor for my depression today, so, yay...I guess.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If ya'll thought Jared could go a whole chapter without getting the shit beat out of him, you were wrong.

"Jared, wake up."

Jared shoved away the hand that was shaking him. He was too tired to deal with this.

"Jared Aaron Kleinman, get your ass up."

"What?" Jared groaned, looking up.

Connor was next to Jared on the bed, he was too tired to question it. Jared put his glasses on and sat up.

"You were talking in your sleep," Connor explained. "You were telling someone to stop."

"Well, I never remember what I dream, so don't worry," Jared sighed.

"Can...can we talk?"

"About what?"

Connor got up and pushed his hair out of his face, "Uh, well, you. I guess."

Jared stood up, since Connor was pushy and he wouldn't get out of this, "What do you want to know?"

"Uh, does anyone other than me know what happens to you?"

"No, I've never said it out loud before."

"Never?"

"Well, I've said  _beat_ but never...y'know..."

"Abuse?"

"Yeah."

Connor walked around the bed to Jared's side, "Well, say it now."

"Why?"

"The first step to dealing with an issue is to address that there is a problem."

"You're lame."

"I know," Connor assured, smiling softly. "Please?"

Ugh, Jared couldn't say no to that face.

"Say it," Connor nudged.

"Give me a minute to mentally prepare," Jared cried. "...I'm abused. There. Said it. Happy?"

"Who abuses you?"

"Dave?"

"What does Dave do?"

"He abuses me?"

"Put it together. With what you said earlier."

"I'm abused, Dave abuses me."

Connor grinned, "First step complete."

Jared was wrapped in a hug. He didn't protest. He still felt weird saying it out loud.

"Yeah yeah," Jared chuckled. "Yippy skippy, why are you doing this to me?"

"Becuase I want to help," Connor shrugged. "Can we get to my next question?"

"Yeah," Jared sighed, pulling back from the hug.

"Are you straight?"

Jared took in a shaky breath, "No. I'm gay."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Why not tell me, I wouldn't judge. Obviously."

"Dave warned me what would happen if I ended up...well...not being straight. So, no one found out. Well, no one important."

Connor nodded, "Do you have feelings for me? Romantic ones."

"Yeah," Jared mumbled. "Have for a while. I've known that you like me for...almost a month."

Connor frowned, "How?"

Jared thought about Halloween, "Reasons."

Connor smiled again, "Well, do we plan on acting on these feelings?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I can't...I can't just...I want to, but...I can't, ugh, I can't date you. No one can know I'm gay, you knowing scares the ever living shit out of me."

"Date in secret," Connor offered.

"That's cliche."

"I'm serious," Connor laughed. "What if we only acted...like a couple, if we keep it behind closed doors. Like now. You and me alone. It's not like I won't use this knowledge to my advantage anyway. I'll end up making out with you again either way."

"You've got a point."

"So?"

"We can try it, for a bit," Jared offered.

Connor smiled and wrapped Jared in a hug, "Thank you."

"Yeah, I know," Jared looked up and smiled. "I thought that if this ever happened I'd be more excited. I'm actually pretty chill right now."

Connor tilted Jared's head and pressed his lips to the shorter boys. Jared blinked before wrapping his arms around Connor's neck. It was soft, but made him feel just as excited as the balcony had. Jared's glasses were move out of the way and Connor lifted him up.

Jared pulled back, "What's with you and carrying me?"

Connor shrugged, "I dunno. Get used to it."

"Ditto. Wait, what time is it?"

Connor glanced at the clock, "Uh, like...two in the morning."

"Put me down and let me sleep you fool," Jared laughed.

Jared was placed on the floor and the two climbed back into bed. Jared flinched when Connor started spooning him, but brushed it off.

"Night."

"G'night."

 

Jared managed to pull off looking sick to Cynthia the next morning, and Connor was dubbed caretaker of him, so the two went to Jared's house the next morning. He was still scared of having Connor over without getting approval first, but he tried to be brave.

"So," Connor hummed, walking towards the door to the basement, "What are we gonna do? Since we talked things over."

"You aren't gonna tell anyone?"

"Well, I don't have evidence against him, but I'll never look at Dave the same."

"Right," Jared nodded. "Uh, I feel really weird right now, sorry."

Connor pecked Jared's cheek, "It's okay."

"Oh, uh, there is still a hell of a lot of stuff you don't know about me still, but I think it's best to let them come in waves, okay?"

"Sure," Connor smiled.

**Connor Murphy's Five things**

**1\. Depressed ( _Not_ suicidal)**

**2\. Hot as _HELL_ (Ex. hair, smile, literally everything)**

**3\. Awesome boyfriend (SQUEEEEEE)**

**4\. Gay**

**5\. Can be scary when mad**

 

Jared showed them downstairs and they ended up watching movies for the morning. At lunch Jared decided on instant noddles for both of them, they had to prepare for college after all.

"I can't believe how nothing's changed," Connor laughed. "Like, we act exactly the same."

"Besides the cuddling and making out," Jared recalled.

"Except the cuddling and making out."

 "You can't do that at school."

"I know."

"Can I take a nap?"

Connor snorted, "Okay?"

Jared stretched his body across Connor's lap and shut his eyes.

"J, what if I need to pee?"

"Hold it."

"I'll just piss on you."

Jared shot up, "BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO!"

Connor cracked up. Jared swatted his arm and stomped up the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Connor wheezed.

"MY ROOM! ASSHOLE!"

Connor got up and followed Jared, "I thought you stayed in the basement."

"Nope, secrets, remember?"

"Oh, he's that strict?"

"Dave doesn't like anyone coming in my room, he thinks it's an unholy place. I've caught him chanting at the foot of my bed, praying for me to be brought to the Lord."

"Shit...Can I see it?"

Jared nodded, and opened the door to the room. Connor glanced around, soaking it in.

"This feels like it would be your room."

"Nah, if it was I'd have all my pride shit out. I have to hide it, if Dave found out...I'd rather not find out the extent he would go to."

Connor sat at the desk, "Well, I'm just happy that you trust me."

"If I had known I wasn't dreaming on the balcony, you wouldn't be here."

"Lucky me," Connor smirked.

Jared flipped him off, but Connor just walked over and kissed his cheek.

"Dick," Jared smiled, pulling Connor down onto the bed. "I'm terrified that you're here. With me. Like this."

"If you ever need me, I'll come over, kay?" Connor got serious, "If he lays a hand on you I'll sprint the four miles here."

"You should know that I'd never call you, I can handle myself just fine."

"Jarey..."

Jared took a deep breath in, "Don't call me that, please. Only some people can call me that."

"Alright, can I ask why?"

"If the right situation comes up, yeah."

Connor nodded and pulled Jared into his arms, "How bad has it gotten?"

"...Broken bones...probably."

"What?"

"It was a long time ago," Jared sighed. "Before I met you."

"J..." Connor looked devestated. "God, I'm sorry."

Jared just shrugged. He had to admit, talking about what was going on was nice, but terrifying.

"Please, call me if you need help," Connor whispered, squeezing Jared's hand. "Please."

"Connor, I won't. I'm not gonna lie to you."

Connor gave a sad smile, "Yeah, but I'm never gonna stop asking."

"I know."

 

The week went by fairly easily. Jared allowed Connor to pull him over to the Murphy house every night after school, and he enjoyed it. Really. But he had some issues with Connor that he didn't want to bring up in conversation. For instance, Connor was  _always_ touching him in some form. A hand on the shoulder, back, arm, Jared wasn't a fan of all the touching. He was cool with cuddling or whatever, but constantly moving your hand around was a way to put him on edge.

The only other issue that Jared really had with Connor was that he always wanted to know where he was. If Jared wasn't with Connor, he had to know. It was a bit annoying, but he was able to brush it off. Then Friday rolled around, his talk with Graham and the others.

 

**[Connor]**

**where ru?**

**[Jared]**

**busy. what do u need?**

**[Connor]**

**wanna come over???????**

**[Jared]**

**Im busy rn**

**[Connor]**

**Oh yeah!**

**I can pick you up later?**

**[Jared]**

**Mom's home tonight, hanging out w/her.**

**Sorry**

**[Connor]**

**Okay.**

 

Jared walked into the restaurant and spotted Graham easily, but the others spotted him first.

"JAREY!"

Jared was wrapped into a hug and he hugged back.

"Hey Tim Tam!"

"W-We m-m-missed you," Tim whispered.

"Yeah, missed you too," Jared assured. "Look, I'll be over in a minute, I've gotta pee."

Tim nodded before running back to the table. When Jared returned from the bathroom he found Connor at the table, staring at Tim. He stomped over, pulling Connor away from the group.

"You're fucking stalking me!" Jared growled. "Connor, what the fuck?"

"Why are there three of you?" Connor asked, glancing at the table.

"No, that's not the issue Connor," Jared cried. "Quit being so obsessed! I can't be alone for five minutes! All I wanted was a nice outing with my family, that's all I fucking wanted! You don't trust me at all!"

Connor met his eye, "Because you scare me. It's like you said, I apparently don't know shit about you. I'm just trying to make sure you're okay. I'll stop asking, all you had to do was tell me. And, no, I wasn't stalking you, you left your Snap-Map on, I found you through that."

Jared calmed down and patted Connor's wrist lightly, he wasn't about to act like he had a boyfriend in  _public_.

"I'm assuming you want an explination for those guys," Jared whispered, walking back over.

"It would be nice," Connor chuckled.

"Okay," Jared took his seat next to Tim. Connor pulled up a chair on Jared's other side. "Hey Benji."

"Hi."

"Alright," Jared sighed. "Guys, this is Connor. Connor, this is my older brother Benjamin, his boyfriend Graham, my nephew Donny, my younger brother Tim, and his boyfriend Rich."

"What the fuck," Connor whispered.

"Jared doesn't mention us since we don't live with him," Benji explained. "Tim moved in with me a little after mom remarried."

Tim was watching them. He leaned over and whispered into Rich's ear.

"Jared," Rich laughed. "You finally got yourthelf a boyfriend. Nice."

Connor stayed neutral, like Jared had asked if they were ever accused of being together. Except this time it didn't matter, "Con, I'm out to them, it's fine."

"I thought you said no one knew..."

"No one that would impact my life majorly," Jared explained. "None of my siblings are straight, do you think they care? Everyone knows I'm not ready to be out publicly yet, and thankfully my wishes are respected."

"It's nice to meet you," Donny called across the table.

"You too," Connor nodded.

Jared noticed that Connor kept glancing at Tim. Jared hadn't paid any notice to the skirt before. So, his brother liked skirts and dresses, he didn't care.

"Stop staring at him," Jared hissed.

"J-Jarey?"

Jared turned to Tim, "What's up Tim Tam?"

"Is..." Tim looked down, Jared knew about the eye contact thing. "Is mom coming here?"

"She's not done with work yet," Jared explained. "How're things with Rich?"

"Good," Tim perked up. "We've j-j-just been t-trying to deal w-w-with school s-s-stuff."

"Waffles?"

"We bought the little fucker carrots," Rich announced.

Jared nodded and looked over at Benji. He was glad his brothers were happy. Tim moving out was for the best, even if it meant he didn't see them much.

"I'll head home J," Connor murmured. "See you Monday?"

"I'll still text you, promise," Jared nodded. "Bye."

"Bye."

Once Connor was gone Graham and Benji smirked at him.

"So," Graham grinned. "Your  _friend_ that went to New York with you?"

"Look, we honest to god started dating this week," Jared chuckled. "Enough about me, tell me about the Kleinman family that's actually cool."

 

"Jared? I'm home."

Sarcastic yay.

"Coming," Jared called.

Jared met Dave at the bottom of the stairs.

"Were you good while I was gone?"

"Yes, I believe so," Jared said. He'd gotten pretty good at lying.

"Your mother told me about you visiting with  _them_ while I was gone."

_Mother fucker!_

"Yeah, uh, I didn't...y'know... _want_ to spend time with them."

"They are all the wrong type of person," Dave decreed. "Faggots, the whole lot. I'm upset that you went with them."

"I can't say no to them, they're my family!"

"As long as you live in my house, they are  _not_ family!"

Now Jared was mad, Dave had moved into the Kleinman house, not the other way around.

"Because you're an upstanding Christian?"

"What did you say to me?"

Jared try to play his remark off as authority, "You know, uh, it's  _your_ house. So, it must also be..." he mentally kicked himself for what he was about to say, "the House of God?"

Dave seemed taken aback. Impressed almost.

"Jared," Dave grinned. "The lessons, they're working! Finally, progress! You're finally fighting back against the demons! We must continue at once, and keep your body weak, and mind strong. I told you that they would work!"

Jared was pulled to the basement. Fuck. He tried to think about Connor, Tim, hell even Audrey, thinking dulled the pain. It started with being kicked to the ground like a puppy. Jared managed to toss the glasses off to the side to prevent them from breaking, he couldn't break his father's glasses. Then came the pipe, it was copper, and was used to hit Jared's back repeatedly. Dave was starting to grin like a maniac.

**Dave Gaustad's Five Things**

**1.** **PSYCHOPATH**

**2\. Abuser**

**3\. Hates children**

**4\. "Following the commands of God." (AKA: an asshole)**

**5\. Can't cook**

Once the pole was covered with blood Dave stopped. Jared was crying, but refused to speak.

"Recite from the Bible," Dave commanded, "and your punishment ends here."

"I'm an unpracticed Jewish boy, you think I know?"

Dave grabbed Jared by his bloodied shirt and went to slamming his face into the wall. He felt his head clip the entertainment center as he was thrown down again. Where the fuck was Audrey?

"RECITE FROM THE BIBLE!" Dave creamed. "GOD IS TESTING ME, DO AS I SAY!"

Fuck, he was kicking again. It hadn't been this bad since the first time. That was the only time Dave seemed to regret what he did, but it didn't stop him from forgetting and coming back. Okay, Jared had read _The Posionwood Bible_ , that was kind of religious.

"DO IT!"

Jared was coming up blank. He thought back to the texts that Dave sent with quotes.

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans!" Jared gasped out.

The kicking stopped. Dave was calm again, like he hadn't beat the shit out of his stepson.

"Thank you," Dave said, smiling. "I shall clean up the mess here, tend to the lesson scars."

Jared slowly got to his knees and grabbed his glasses. He glanced at where he had been laying and went into dry heaves. Dave was taking a bucket with bleach water and mopping up the blood on the floor. Jared ran, more like stumbled, into his room and into the bathroom.

His shirt was coated with blood on the back side, he took it off and cleaned the gashes as best as he could. His nose looked broken, he was covered with bruises, he looked how Dave had always described him as: ugly. He wasn't able to clean all of the wounds on his own. As much as he hated to do it, he grabbed his phone and called Connor.

_"Jared?"_

"Con," Jared's voice quivered. "I need you here, right now. Please."

_"Jared, what's going on?"_

"Go around the back of the house and climb up the apple tree, my window's unlocked."

Jared hung up before pulling on the bloody shirt again and dozing off right there on the bathroom floor.

 

"Oh my god!"

Jared stirred awake and looked up at Connor.

"Hi," Jared whispered. "I'm sorry I called, the bleeding is down, I'm fine."

"Shut the fuck up," Connor hissed, pulling Jared up to sit on the edge of the tub. "What happened?"

"He heard about me meeting with Tim and the others..."

Connor pulled the shirt over Jared's head and made the other boy turn so he could see the damage. All Jared heard was a gasp before Connor went to cleaning the gashes. Jared winced, but didn't complain.

"Jared," Connor whispered. "Is it always this bad?"

"No. He's crazy."

Connor grabbed a washcloth and wiped Jared's face, it came back bloody, so Connor dabbed the bleeding lumps on Jared's head until the blood stopped flowing

"Jared?" Connor murmured, grabbing the shorter boys hand.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for calling me."

Jared stood up and stumbled into his room to grab a new shirt. He had Connor trash the old one.

"Jared?"

Fuck. Dave.

"Hide in the shower," Jared hissed.

Connor did as asked and Jared closed the curtain behind him. Jared opened his bedroom door and attempted a smile at his stepfather.

"No one sees your back, understand?"

"Yes," Jared nodded.

"If anyone asks about your nose, you tell them you were biking and lost control."

"Yes," Jared repeated.

Dave left and Jared locked the door behind him. Connor emerged and glared at the door.

"I'm going to murder him," Connor stated.

"I'll dump you if you do," Jared said. "Thanks for helping me, you can head home now."

"I'm not leaving you alone today," Connor whispered. "I apparently can't leave you home for two days without you getting hurt."

Jared nodded and slipped into bed. Connor followed, but neither tried to sleep. Jared turned and faced Connor.

"You're beautiful J," Connor murmured.

"You're sexy," Jared smirked.

Connor laughed quietly before tilting his head and leaning in to  kiss the shorter boy. Jared let Connor pull him into his arms as they kissed each other slowly. Connor tried to pull Jared's shirt off, but Jared told him no. It wasn't a good time. When they broke apart Jared rested his head on Connor's chest and dozed off.

_This is why I love you, Connor Lucas Murphy. Even when I'm at my worst, my most vulnerable, you're still here for me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor tot is v protective, but he isn't gonna commit murder.


	8. Chapter Eight

Jared got up a few minutes before his alarm and slipped out of bed. He walked down to the kitchen and found his mother filling a thermos with coffee.

"Jared," Audrey gasped. "Honey, what happened to your face?"

"...I was riding my bike," Jared explained. "Lost control and fell off. I'm fine."

"Thank god," Audrey whispered. "Okay hon, Dave has lots of meetings so he's already gone for work and he'll be late, I'm gonna visit Timmy today after work since I didn't have a chance this weekend, do you need anything?"

"Just the usual grocery list," Jared said, grabbing it off the fridge and tossing the notepad to his mother.

"Alright," Audrey hummed. "Then I'll probably see you late tonight or tomorrow morning."

_No you won't._

"Okay, bye mom."

She was already out the door. It was a good morning for Connor to be over apparently. Jared walked back up and grabbed his water bottle. Time to refill.

"Jared?" Connor whispered from the bed. "How do you feel?"

"Sore, but I've been worse," Jared answered, turning off the alarm and grabbing clothes for Connor.

"I brought some of mine," Connor explained, getting up.

Jared flinched as he was pulled into a hug.

"Connor, my back."

Connor let go, "Sorry J."

Jared ignored the hand on his shoulder, "You can have the bathroom. Dave isn't here, my mom just left, you're good to go downstairs."

Connor's hand moved down to squeeze Jared's forearm, "Thanks."

Once Connor was in the bathroom Jared went to fill the water bottle. He found a bottle of Jameson in the liquor cabinet and chose that to be his drink of choice for the next however long the bottle lasted. Jared went to pouring coffee into cups for him and Connor and then made toaster waffles, because everyone loves toaster waffles.

"This mine?"

Connor was pointing to a coffee cup. Jared nodded before tossing a waffle over.

"Thanks," Connor grinned.

Jared sat at the island and patted the seat next to him. Connor sat down and grabbed his hand. Jared just didn't like being touched after shit like last night. He pulled his hand away and set it in his lap. Connor didn't push it.

 

Jared was working on his homework. Connor was on his bed, sketching.

"Hey, Connor, I've got a date," Zoe called. "I'll be back in two hours, don't burn the house down."

"Don't get pregnant," Connor called back.

"One, I wouldn't sleep with someone on the first date," Zoe chuckled. "Second, I'm on the pill."

"Don't get an STD," Jared snorted.

"I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH THEM!"

"C'mon, we love you Zoe," Connor smiled. "Have fun, don't break their heart."

"Ditto," Zoe nodded. "Later guys."

Connor got up and closed the door behind her. He walked up behind Jared and kissed the top of his head. Jared tensed, but kept working.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just stressed."

Connor squeezed Jared's shoulder, "Look, I would say stay here, but I don't want to make it worse."

"Oh, you don't?"

"No, I don't, Jared I don't want you hurting anymore."

Jared was officially done. D-O-N-E  _done!_

"You're just as bad as him," Jared spat. "I just ignore it when it's you."

"Jared, I-I didn't hit you..."

"Goddamnit Connor," Jared huffed. "Not all abuse involves physical pain!"

"What did I do?"

"Constantly trying to find out where I am," Jared laughed. "Touching me when I'm clearly uncomfortable? I don't know how else to put it!"

"Jared, I didn't-"

"I thought I could trust you!"

"You can!" Connor went to reach out, but pulled his hands back. "Jared, I didn't realize that I was hurting you. If I had known I wouldn't have done it."

"Stalking me? You didn't know it bothered me that I couldn't be alone for five minutes?"

"...When you told me it was bothering you, I stopped. I didn't mean to...fuck. I got scared. I thought that he was gonna come back and hurt you, and he did. I just...thought if I was there he wouldn't hurt you."

"It's not just that," Jared cried. "The constant touching! I hate it! I'm down for cuddles any day of the goddamn week, but  _this,"_ Jared ran his hands around Connor's arms and neck and chest, "this pisses me off and makes me have anxiety attacks!"

"I didn't know," Connor whispered, looking down. "I thought I was helping."

"This is why I shouldn't have told you!" Jared sniffed. "You don't understand!"

"How can I if you don't tell me?" Connor asked. "If you had said that something I was doing was bothering you I would've stopped. You  _know_ that you can talk to me. I'm sorry I hurt you, I don't know what else to say. I should have been paying more attention."

Jared sat next to Connor on the bed, "I dunno what to do. I like you a lot, I've wanted this for so long...I feel like I need to forgive you and call it a day, but I also know that I shouldn't at the same time."

"So we both feel horrible?"

"Yep."

"Jared?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you dumping me?"

"No, I believe you. It's not  _fully_ your fault, but it is partially your fault."

Connor nodded, "I should've noticed. I won't do that to you again."

"Thank you."

They sat in silence for a moment. Both thinking.

"Can I redo the bandages on your back?"

Jared nodded, taking Connor's hand. It felt better when he initiated the touch. Jared pulled off his shirt and let Connor redo the bandages.

"They look a lot better today," Connor said. "You'll probably be bruised for a while."

"Yeah, I figured that," Jared chuckled. "Kinda hurts to move."

 Connor hummed while he worked. Once the clean bandages were reapplied Connor went downstairs to grab snacks. Jared decided to check Instagram while he was alone. Connor had updated the secret account.

**Uhh...I feel like a dick rn.**

**Messed things up with J, but I don't think hes too mad.**

**If anyone's got ideas to help message me pls.**

Okay, damn, he really did want to fix it.

"Con!"

Connor walked into the room a minute later, "Yeah?"

"Maybe we should, uh..." Jared thought to his lists. "Make a list."

"Of what?" Connor set a package of Oreos on the desk.

"...Stuff we, uh, should avoid," Jared mumbled. "Y'know, shit that sets me off."

"Um, that's actually a great idea."

Connor got out a piece of paper and handed it to Jared with a pen. Jared smiled, he had never physically wrote his lists before.

**Things You Should Not do to Jared Kleinman**

"Nice title," Connor smiled. "I guess it's up to you to make the list itself."

"Right..." He grabbed a new paper so he could start over.

**Five Things That Make Jared Kleinman Upset**

**(And How to Make it Better)**

**1\. Random hugs (Hold out arms before going into hug to give warning)**

**2\. Constant touching (Lightly touch and ask if it's okay before continuing)**

**3\. Stalking/Constantly checking up on location (If random it's okay to ask, otherwise somehow work it into conversation so it's not creepy)**

**4\. Mentioning you know who (Just don't ask unless clearly needed, it could be brought up without assistance sometimes too)**

**5\. Prying at issues that are clearly making Jared uncomfortable (If it's not important, don't push it)**

"There," Jared hummed, satisfied. "I'll make another list if needed."

"Why five?"

"...Not sure."

Why was it five? It had always been five. Hell, his lists were called the Five Things. Why was it five? Five fingers on one hand, for most people at least. He wasn't sure. Five wasn't even Jared's favorite number, his favorite number was 13.

"I've got one problem," Connor said.

"Hmm?"

"How am I going to get your attention for a hug if you aren't looking at me?"

"Oh...uh, how about...I've got nothing. Yelling would not be recommended."

"Yeah, I thought so," Connor paused for a moment. "What if," he took two fingers and tapped Jared's hand twice, "that is my signal when you aren't looking? Or does that bother you?"

"No, that's fine," Jared assured. "That can be my hug signal."

"Cool."

Connor held out his arms for a hug. Jared rolled his eyes before leaning in.

"Thanks," Jared whispered.

"What for?"

"Not getting mad when I yelled. I've never snapped at someone like that before."

"It was reasonable."

"Kay."

Jared pulled out of the hug and went to finish his work. Connor went back to sketching and eventually put his ear buds in to blast his music. Jared took the time to check Connor's work, since he tended to get a good portion of them wrong. Connor was graduating with honors if it was the last thing he did. Once he was done he checked the time, he had to get going.

"Con," Jared nudged Connor's leg.

"Hmm?" Connor pulled one side of his ear buds out.

"I've gotta go."

Connor held out his arms and Jared purpously flopped on top of him.

"Oof!"

"Suffer," Jared chuckled. He pecked Connor's cheek, "Bye."

"Bye."

 

Jared was sure why, but something felt off when he walked into his room. Then he was that his sweatshirt had been moved from the back of the desk chair to the floor. Dave had went through his room at some point. Jared went into the closet and pulled up the floorboard that was loose, nothing was missing. He was safe.

That meant Dave had come back home while he was on his lunch break. He didn't trust Jared at all. Nice.

Dinner consisted of a plateful of air. Mainly because Jared found a note on the fridge saying that he was not to show off. This wasn't new. Jared went to bed without seeing Audrey, like usual.

 

The next morning Jared didn't hear anyone moving downstairs. He rushed to get ready, grabbing a larger sweatshirt just to make sure. He looked out the window to check the weather and frowned. His car was gone. He called his mom.

_"Jared, I'm at work, what is it?"_

"Uh...my car's gone. I think someone stole it."

_"Oh, no, it's okay. Dave's car was acting up so he took your car to work. It'll only be for a few days."_

Now Jared was pissed, he had paid for his car himself. All him. "Mom. It's  _my_ car."

_"I know. It's only a few days hon. Don't worry. I'll see you tonight."_

Jared went to argue, but his mom hung up.

"Goddamnit Audrey!"

And of course he had to get a text from Connor.

**[Connor]**

**can you drive me to school? Zoe had to leave early**

**[Jared]**

**Nope. Sorry.**

**[Connor]**

**Why????**

**[Jared]**

**No car my dude. See you on the bus.**

**[Connor]**

**I am 17 years old im not taking the fucking bus.**

**I'll get my mom to take us, be at your place in a few**

**[Jared]**

**thx**

Jared took a moment, since he had the time, to look at his hair. Dave equally hated and needed Jared's floppy hair. Hated it because having longer hair was a way to show off, needed it because it was useful for pulling Jared places. Audrey had said during the summer after he got back from camp that if he was gonna keep it longer he had to style it, she wasn't gonna allow someone looking like they were homeless in her house. Jared respected that. Jared ran a little jell through his hair so it would stay out of his face before he saw Cynthia's car pull up.

"Thanks for taking me Cynthia," Jared said, climbing in the back next to Connor.

"Oh, if you need a ride for a few days it's fine," Cynthia assured. "How's your mother?"

Jared gave the usual response, "Good."

"Connor was telling me about Ben and Tim, I think we should invite your brothers over some time."

Now, believe it or not, Audrey used to be close with Cynthia. That's how she knew of his brothers. Thankfully Cynthia understood at least  _one_ of the reasons Jared never shared about them, and she never said anything to Connor or Zoe. Cynthia was awesome.

"Oh, yeah," Jared pulled his sweatshirt sleeves over his hands, he wanted sweater paws, fuck off. "I can totally work that out. I actually have more opportunities to see them, so it'll be nice if they came over."

"And hows Dave?"

Jared feels two fingers tapping on his hand. He looks up quickly and Connor motions with his eyes towards his hand. Jared takes the offer and laces his fingers with Connor's, out of Cynthia's view.

"Uh, satisfied I guess. New position at work, gets to travel a lot. He's got a lot going for him."

"He's traveling now too? Are you home alone a lot Jared?"

"No," Jared lies. "It's usually for a few hours, then one or both come home for dinner."

Connor could probably tell he was lying from how clammy his hand became.

"Well, if they ever get held up you're always welcome at our house," Cynthia assures, smiling back at Jared.

They pull up to the school and Jared lets go of Connor's hand.

"Thanks mom," Connor calls, getting out.

"Thanks Cynthia," Jared says, following Connor.

 

Jared was reading quietly when he heard Connor sigh again. Jared ignored it, Connor was doing his work and it was a slow process.

"I'm done," Connor announced, dropping his pencil and getting up to sit next to Jared on the bed.

"You only did five problems," Jared argued.

"Well, I'm not finishing today."

Connor flopped down on his bed and curled up slightly. Now his lack of words throughout the day made sense. It was a bad day. Well, Jared was gonna turn it around for his boyfriend, even if he died trying.

"Connor," Jared hummed, moving up the bed and laying down to face him.

"What?"

Jared props himself up on his elbows and leans down to kiss Connor slowly. Connor is surprised to say the least, but kisses back. Jared feels his glasses get put off to the side when Connor pulls him closer.

"You're beautiful," Jared murmured, pulling back a bit.

Connor snorts before fitting his lips to Jared's again.  Jared can practically feel the self loathing. He does it a lot himself. Out of nowhere Connor breaks off their kiss and he nestles his head in Jared's shoulder. Jared resorts to holding Connor, and then the dam breaks.

"I'm so sorry," Connor whispered, looking up quickly. "I hurt you and I can't get it out of my head."

"Con..."

"You shouldn't even be touching me," Connor mumbled.

"I  _want_ to touch you," Jared murmured. "I have a lot I want to do, but I'm scared. Please, don't beat yourself up over this. I forgive you, I know you didn't mean it."

Connor just puts his head back into the crook of Jared's neck, whispering apologies. Jared wants to say it, but he's terrified. He took a deep breath in and leaned into Connor's ear.

"I love you," Jared whispered. "I love you so much. Please stop."

Connor makes them both sit up, "You love me? You're not joking?"

"Connor, you're the one person I've let really see me in nearly 11 years. Yes, I'm in love with you. Have been for ages."

The grin Connor gives shows that Jared totally turned his mood around. "I love you too, Jared."

The two hugged it out and laughed and Jared honestly hadn't felt that good in forever. Just to know that you love someone and they love you back, it was nice.

"I'm...I'm so happy right now," Connor laughed.

"Yeah, me t-"

Jared's phone started ringing. He checked the caller ID and swore under his breath. Dave.

"Hello?" Jared answered.

_"Jared, I want you home in an hour."_

"Uh, okay."

_"See you then."_

Dave hung up.

"Jare?"

"I don't know what he wants to do," Jared confessed.

"Why did he even start doing this?"

"I dunno."

 Connor leaned forward and kissed Jared's cheek, "I'll give you a ride home."

As much as Jared didn't want to leave, he still got up and let Connor drive him home. Jared just made the most out of the ride by leaning against Connor the whole time.

"I love you," Connor murmured, squeezing Jared's thigh.

"Love you too," Jared whispered, smiling softly.

Jared got out of the car and walked up to the house. He could handle this, whatever was going to happen. It's what he did. Now he just had a little support.

"Dave," Jared called, walking in the door. "I'm home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do we want?
> 
> DRAMA!
> 
> When do we want it?
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER!


	9. Chapter Nine

Jared, you're sure it's okay if you're alone for break?" Audrey asked.

"Mom, I've said it's fine, like, 30 times," Jared sighed. "Go have fun."

Audrey and Dave were supposed to go to some convention over holiday break. His mother would be leaving tonight, and Dave in the morning. At least Jared had his car back. Jared had arranged to spend a few days of break at the Murphy house, and Audrey approved so he didn't get in trouble.

"Alright hon," Audrey hugged him. "Be responsible. No girls over, kay?"

Jared was glad his mother couldn't see him roll his eyes, "Gotcha."

Audrey pulled out and grabbed her suit case. Dave came out of the kitchen and gave his goodbye hugs to Audrey.

"Bye guys!" Audrey called.

Jared waved and his mom left. He hurried to his room before Dave could get mad at him for something stupid.

**[Connor]**

**ur coming over right?**

**[Jared]**

**yep!**

**[Connor]**

**my dads gonna come get u**

**b/c u helped him jump his car last week**

**and...your car is still here dumbass**

**[Jared]**

**cool.**

**cu soon!**

**also, fuck you.**

Jared double checked that his bag had everything he needed and grabbed his keys. Larry would be there soon. He ran down the stairs and watched through the windows, he didn't want to spend extra time in the house if he could help it.

Jared felt a hand on his shoulder and he was whipped around. Dave wrapped a hand around his throat. Shit.

"Your mother might be blind to your evil, but I know better," Dave growled, squeezing tighter. "I'll be thinking of how to punish you when I come back."

The door bell rang and Dave let go. Jared grabbed his bag and opened the door. Larry placed a hand on Jared's shoulder and gave a small smile.

"Bye Dave," Jared called, clearing his voice after. The two walked out to Larry's car and Jared hopped into the passenger seat. Larry had been oddly quiet.

"Did...was Dave upset with you?" Larry asked quietly.

"No," Jared lied. "Why do you ask?"

"Jared...he, he choked you," Larry whispered. "You know that's not okay, right?"

"He didn't do anything," Jared assured. "We were just talking. Dave wouldn't lay a finger on me."

_Fuckfuckfuckfuck!_

"This is serious," Larry stated. "Jared, I saw through the window, he hurt you. Your neck is red."

"I'm fine," Jared said. "He didn't do anything."

The rest of the ride was in silence. Jared wasn't going to be able to relax now. How had Larry seen? No one ever saw. Ever.

Once they pulled up to the house Jared stepped out of the car, "Thanks for the ride!"

Jared walked in the door and bypassed Cynthia before going up to Connor's room. Once the door was closed and locked Jared crashed into Connor's arms.

"Hey," Connor whispered. "What's wrong?"

"Your dad saw," Jared gasped. "I don't know how he saw but he did and I'm scared!"

Connor sat Jared down on the bed, "Jared, hey, calm down. Maybe it's for the best?"

Jared glared at him.

"Okay...sorry."

"I don't want to die, Connor."

"You won't," Connor shushed. "I'm assuming you tried to convince my dad otherwise?"

Jared nodded.

"Alright, maybe it worked?"

"I dunno. I'm scared."

"If anything happens I'll kidnap you and take you to your brother's house."

Jared smiled, "Okay. Thanks."

"It's my pleasure," Connor murmured, squeezing Jared's hand. "I love you."

"Love you too," Jared laughed, pecking Connor's cheek.

Connor tapped his hand twice before scooping Jared up and spinning him around, "We should go out."

"What?"

"Like, go out. We've never done that."

Jared gave his boyfriend a look, "Because my closet is locked and you only got in because you broke the door before fixing it."

"I think we could do it."

"Connor-"

"What if we go an hour away from here," Connor offered. "No one we know will be there. Just you and me."

Ugh, he really wanted this. "Fine, but not near here."

Connor squeezed Jared's hand before grabbing his coat. Jared followed his boyfriend out of the room as they tried to get out without being noticed. Of course it didn't work, Cynthia had gotten good about noticing Connor trying to leaving.

"Where are you going?" Cynthia asked, walking out of the kitchen.

"We're gonna go see a movie," Jared jumped in.

That's when Larry peaked in. Jared forced himself not to look away, "Let them go, Cynthia."

Cynthia nodded and waved as the two walked out the door. Jared let Connor drive, since he didn't know where to take them.

"Do you mind if I ask how things have been at home?" Connor whispered. "You've seemed fine lately. But...I know you're good at hiding it."

"Things have actually been fine," Jared chuckled. "His new thing is having me memorize Bible quotes. Then you list the chapter and the verse so he can go make sure it's an actual quote. I just have a list I read from once or twice a week as needed. I don't know what happened today."

Connor gave Jared a look, "Babe, he's crazy."

"Well, yeah, I know that."

**[Dave]**

**Please get your hair cut while we are gone, it looks horrible.**

**You should be neat.**

**[Jared]**

**Okay.**

Jared showed Connor the text once they stopped at a red light.

"Damn, I like it," Connor sighed, ruffling Jared's hair.

"That's because you have a fucking hair kink."

"Stop kink shaming me!"

"Kink shaming is my kink!"

The two cracked up. They had a car behind them honk because they were laughing when the light turned green. So Connor started driving again, keeping one hand locked with Jared's.

"Where are you taking me?" Jared asked.

"It's a surprise."

"You don't know where you're going, do you?"

"Nope."

Jared snorted and let his head rest on Connor's shoulders, "You're so hopeless."

"Look who's talking."

"Fuck off!"

"Never!"

"DEER!"

Connor slammed on the breaks and whipped his arm in front of Jared's chest. The deer ran off the road and Jared let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He opened his mouth to talk but Connor covered it with his hand.

"I almost died, don't make a joke right now, please."

Jared pulled the hand away and slumped in his seat, "Fine... _deerest_."

"Damnit Jared!"

But he was smiling. Jared leaned over and pecked Connor's cheek, "You love it."

Connor started driving again, "No, I love  _you_. You're sense of humor can shut the fuck up."

"Why'd you do the mom thing? My mom did that when me and Tim were little."

"The arm thing?"

"Yeah."

"Uh...instinct?"

"Oh, well, lets not tell your family about this, kay?"

"Deal."

They sat in silence for a bit. Connor eventually held his hand out and Jared took it. Jared gave Connor a look before syncing his phone to the car. He found the line in the song he was looking for and turned the volume up before playing the line.

_"-Never met a man I couldn't devour_

_Never met a plan I couldn't put in place_

_They attack I brace_

_They escape I chase_

_I'm a tad temperamental so get out my face_

_I'm mad monumental_

_See my dick from space-"_

 "Jared, I often question your taste in tunes."

"You love it!"

"Sure."

"Ooh, I've got an idea!"

"Hmm?"

"Lets go to the mall."

"...Why the fuck do you want to go to that death trap?"

"We can get my hair cut and go to  _Hot Topic_."

"DEAL!"

Jared laughed to himself. He knew Connor just liked the buttons, but his excitement made him happy. Jared changed the music to Heathers since he knew Connor liked it despite his complaints. Jared wasn't a fan of long car rides, but it was always better with bops to help pass the time.

 

"Okay, so, how do dates work?" Jared asked, elbowing Connor as they walked.

"...Food?"

"You're asking me?"

"We should get food, then we can get your hair cut. Deal?"

Jared nodded, "Sure."

They agreed on Panda Express, but it was a mall, so obviously it was taking ages.

"Your shoes have a hole," Connor noted.

"They're old."

"Ah."

Connor went up to see what was taking so long, and Jared just stared at his feet. His converse were worn through, granted they had lasted him through over half of high school. He'd probably get a new pair before school started up.

"You need new shoes?"

A tall, bald man was staring at Jared.

"Uh, not just yet," Jared said, being polite.

"I can get you a new pair of shoes."

"Uh...I'm good."

Connor came back with their food. Jared didn't hesitate to grab Connor's hand as they walked to find a table.

"What was that guy about?"

"I think I just got cat called."

Connor sat across from Jared at the table, "Is that what they call it?"

"I think so."

"We're bad at dating."

"Yeah."

"At least the public part."

"Yep."

Who had talked last? Jared's anxiety was up now since that creep had talked to him.

"Love you," Jared murmured.

"Love you too."

They finished eating in silence. Connor held out his hand and Jared took it with a smile.

"So...how do you want your hair to be cut?" Connor asked.

"I dunno, just...pleasing I guess."

"Can I choose?"

"Will I get punished for what you choose?"

Connor pondered this for a moment, "No."

"I trust you too much."

They both started laughing as they walked towards the nearest hair salon. Connor scrolled through ideas on his phone as Jared waited patiently. They had to wait for 15 minutes before Jared got his turn.

"Alright," the stylist hummed. "What were you thinking of?"

"Can you do this?" Connor held up his phone.

"That is really cute! Hell yes I can!"

Jared braced himself for whatever "cute" was and just talked with Connor and the stylist as his hair was chopped. It didn't take long, but the grin that continued to grow on Connor's face worried him a bit.

"All done," the stylist sang. "What do you think? I made it shorter on the sides so you could change the part if you wanted."

Jared almost started laughing when he actually looked in the mirror, but then he looked harder and decided that he liked it. His hair was longer on top, flipping over towards the left side of his head, but the sides were short along with the back.

"It's great," Jared said. "Thank you."

Jared got up, paid, and walked with Connor towards Hot Topic. He watched his boyfriend dig through the buttons until he had a small handful that he liked. Once Connor was done with his shopping, they went back to the car and drove to the Murphy house.

 

Jared felt the bed shift and he woke up, Connor was heading towards the door.

"What's goin on?"

"Go back to sleep," Connor shushed. "Forgot something downstairs."

"Weirdo," Jared chucked, almost instantly falling back asleep.

 

Jared was woken once again to banging on the door.

"Guys!" Zoe cried, "Get up! My boyfriend will be here soon! He's having breakfast with us, dress nice!"

"Fuck." Connor mumbled, rolling out of bed. "Forgot about that."

"Ditto," Jared sighed.

The two boys stumbled around the room getting ready. Jared threw on a sweater since that was the nicest thing he had packed.

"Ooh, you're cute in a sweater," Connor smiled.

"Aren't we all?"

"Do you think my father would look good in a sweater?"

"Uh...no."

"Exactly."

Once they were presentable, the boys walked down the stairs towards the kitchen. Larry called for Connor in his office, and Jared went to help Cynthia prepare breakfast.

"How was the movie?" Cynthia asked, handing Jared an armful of plates.

"Good," Jared lied. "Thanks for letting me stay for a few days."

"You know you're always welcome," Cynthia assured. "I don't think I'll need anything else from you, go have fun."

"Thanks Cynthia."

Jared walked towards Larry's office and paused when he heard arguing. Nothing loud, but he knew arguing when he heard it. Jared crept closer to the door and listened in.

"-don't believe you, Connor. Tell me the truth."

That was Larry.

"I'm serious, Dad! Everything is fine!"

And there was long arms boi.

"Connor, please. I'm worried about him."

Oh shit. They were talking about him.

"Dad...just drop it."

"Connor, if you don't tell me the truth right now, I'll call CPS and have them tell me."

Jared could practically feel Connor panicking. Then again, Jared was also panicking a little.

"I....yeah. Okay! Yes, he told me!"

"How long have you known about it?"

"A month," Connor whispered.

"Did it ever occur to you that you should tell an adult? It didn't have to be me or your mom. If you have known that your friend is being hurt...why didn't you tell anyone?"

"He told me not to."

"Connor, this is bigger than stupid promises! You messed up, you should have told an adult! I know he's your friend, but Jared's safety should be first. I'm not trying to sound mean, but this whole situation is gonna be a huge mess."

"I was gonna tell you!" Connor snapped. "But I wasn't about to throw Jared into a situation he couldn't handle! I was gonna get him used to talking about it before I told anyone. He'll have to make a statement to the police eventually, I don't want him freaking out about having to tell people. Once I knew Jared was ready, I would have told you. He pulls all sorts of shit to get people to not notice, excuse my language, so my job was to make him comfortable about it. Make him feel safe. Like the world isn't out to get him, or think he's a monster. I was trying to play it smart."

Larry was quiet for a moment, "How did you find out?"

"...I, uh, I pushed him about it, because he was acting weird. He broke down and ended up telling me."

"Is there anything else I should know about what's going on? I'm asking you before I confront him."

"...Nothing that is extremely important. Just...normal things. Everything else should be from him, he's already gonna hate me for telling you."

Jared walked into the room, "I don't hate you. Just...processing."

Connor looked at his feet, "How much did you hear?"

"Enough," Jared shrugged. "But I don't hate you."

"Well," Larry sighed. "Jared, tell me what I need to know."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

Jared twitched, "It is taking all my self control to not start sobbing right now, I cannot talk about it."

"Jared, this is important."

"And I hope you realize that he mentally manipulates me," Jared growled. "He is able to twist my thoughts and I have no doubt he is gonna make it so anything I say to you is denied and that I'm punished for saying anything. I don't want that."

"Jared?" Connor whispered. "What if we write down some questions on a piece of paper. You can answer them without talking then. Then we can do everything in sessions so you don't get too stressed out about it. Does that work?"

"...I guess," Jared sighed. "I want him gone as much as you do Larry, but...we can't rush into this. If he finds out about anything I'm dead, you need to keep this quiet until I think it's safe."

"I'll send in the case to the police anonymously," Larry sighed. "No names, say that safety is number one and that names are out of the question. Feed the case slowly and when we're ready I'll call it in. I'll check if I can be your lawyer or if it's conflict of interests, if it is one of my associates will do it for me. I can make this work."

"Thank you," Jared chuckled. "I'll answer some questions now, maybe more in the next few weeks."

"Hey," Connor grabbed Jared's hand. "This is a lot to do at once. You don't have to do anything more right now if you don't want to."

Larry nodded in agreement.

"Need to do something now while I'm feeling brave," Jared sighed. "Otherwise this'll take way too long."

Larry grabbed a pen and notebook from his desk and started scribbling.

"Five questions," Jared offered. "I'll do it in groups of five. Please."

Larry glanced at Jared before continuing to write. Connor squeezed Jared's hand and the shorter boy looked up. Connor just smiled, so Jared smiled back.

"Alright, just answer to the best of your ability and we'll be done."

Jared let go of Connor's hand and took the notebook and pen.

**1\. How long has the abuse been going on?**

**A: 11 years**

**2\. Who knows of the abuse besides he parties involved?**

**A: Larry and Connor Murphy**

**3\. Have you ever attempted to stop the abuse yourself?**

**A: Yes, it never worked out**

**4\. Relationship with abuser?**

**A: Stepfather/son**

**5\. Please describe one account of the abuse in as much detail as possible**

**A: Age nine, I invited a friend over because their parents were out of town. My stepfather was upset about it since he hadn't been informed by my mother. After everyone else was asleep he woke me up and brought me to the basement. He then taped my mouth shut and hit me with a metal rod 14 times. I was then released and cleaned my wounds before going back to bed.**

Jared handed the notebook back and tried to calm his nerves. He hadn't chosen a very...messy story, but even so...it was terrifying.

"Jared?" Larry called.

"Yeah?" His voice cracked as he spoke.

"Thank you, I know that this is tough for you."

Larry patted Jared's shoulder before putting the notebook in a drawer. Connor pulled Jared up and wrapped an arm around him.

"Good job," Connor whispered.

"Wait, boys," Larry stopped them.

"Yeah?" Connor faced his father.

Larry actually seemed a little nervous, "Are...are you two, ahem, together?"

"Uh..." Connor looked over to Jared.

"Yeah," Jared whispered.

Larry nodded, "I'm assuming this is something I shouldn't tell Cynthia about?"

"Please," Jared mumbled.

"Alright. Just making sure. Thank you for...being honest. Be safe."

"Dad!" Connor stormed out of the room, Jared tailing behind. The two went back up to Connor's room and sat next to each other on the bed.

"Love you," Jared murmured.

"Love you too," Connor smiled, pecking Jared's cheek. "Are you okay?"

Jared let out a sigh, "I'm not terrible, but that wasn't what I wanted to do today."

"Well, just relax. This will be good for you."

"Connor! Jared!" Cynthia called. "Breakfast!"

The two got up and walked to the dining room. Zoe was introducing her boyfriend to Cynthia, so the two kept walking. But then Jared noticed the shoes the boyfriend was wearing.

"Evan?"

Sure enough, Evan turned around and gave a weak smile, "Hi."

Connor just shrugged, "Better it be him than a complete idiot."

"It's nice to meet you Evan," Cynthia beamed. "Please, sit, there's plenty of food to go around."

Evan and Zoe sat on one end of the table, Connor and Jared across from them. Larry came in and sat down and soon enough food was passed around and people were laughing, Jared was just able to enjoy himself, even more so when Connor grabbed his hand under the table.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.
> 
> But isn’t that every week when it comes to him?

After he left the Murphy house, Jared spent the remainder of his break with his brothers. It was better than being alone in the house. But after break, life went back to normal. Well, Jared's version of normal at least.

 

Jared walked down from his room and bumped into Audrey.

"Hey Jared," Audrey beamed. "I made sandwiches for lunch, want one?"

"Sure, where's Dave?"

Audrey smiled, "Out with church friends. It's just you and me today." She handed Jared a sandwich. "How's school?"

"Uh...normal, I guess."

"How are your grades?"

"All A's, don't worry, I didn't get dumb over the summer."

Audrey grinned, "I'm so proud of you. Have you made any new friends?"

"It's senior year, no."

"God, I can't believe you'll be in college next year!" Why was she acting like this? "I remember when Benji went off I cried all the time, god, I feel so old. I'm already a grandmother. Jared, do you have a girlfriend?"

"Eww, no."

"What about Zoe, she seems so nice."

"Evan is dating her mom, and I don't like her like that. She's like my sister."

"Oh. Well good for Evan. Tim was asking about him last time I was over, why don't you have Evan over?"

"Because me and Evan aren't that close," Jared sighed. He had finished his sandwich at this point. "Did you get the mail yesterday?"

Audrey perked up, "Yeah, it's at the table."

Jared walked over and searched through, he found a letter with his name and he grinned. He felt his throat tickle and he coughed a few times, but ignored it and opened the envelope.

"Dear Jared Kleinman," Jared read. "We would like to inform you that we have accepted you into our advanced computer sciences program and that we would like to award you tuition in full!" He started coughing again. "Mom, I won't have any college debt!"

Audrey grinned and wrapped Jared in a hug, "Knew you could do it."

Jared went into another coughing fit. Now he was worried, "Mom, what was on the sandwich?"

"Nutella and banana, why?"

Jared grabbed his keys, "Mom, I'm allergic to hazelnuts! Hospital, now!"

Audrey gasped, "I thought that was Tim."

"Car. Now."

Jared handed his mother the keys and they went to his car. Jared just tried to focus on breathing, but it was getting more difficult as they drove.

Audrey got them in and thankfully Jared was able to get a shot for the reaction before his throat closed on him. The ride back home was silent, not even music playing.

Jared walked back to his room and took a deep breath. This was why he didn't like his mom. She was clueless.

"Jared?"

"Go away."

"Hon, let me apologize."

"No thanks!"

Audrey gave up after that. Good.

**[Connor]**

**Soooooo, how's your day been???**

**[Jared]**

**Uh...do you really wanna know.**

**[Connor]**

**Ru ok?**

**[Jared]**

**Yeah, Ms Audrey gave me frickin Nutella**

**[Connor]**

**No**

**[Jared]**

**Yes**

**But we went to the doctor, I can breathe again!**

**[Connor]**

**Oh thank fuck!**

**[Jared]**

**Ooh, I got my college acceptance letter! Jared's getting out of the house next year!**

**[Connor]**

**I am v proud of u**

**Mom is still waiting on all the applications she sent in for me**

**[Jared]**

**You didn't apply for art school?**

**[Connor]**

**Nah**

**Mom/dad wouldn't approve**

**[Jared]**

**Damn**

**I approve**

**I support**

**I can guilt trip them if you want!**

**[Connor]**

**Thx but no**

**I'll just wait and see**

**Ugh mom wants me, TTYL**

**[Jared]**

**Never say that again**

 

Jared put his phone in his pocket and started researching his forensics piece. He had been on the team since sophmore year, and he loved it. Connor always came to watch at state, and now it would be that much more special.

 

Jared ended up skipping dinner that night. He was so busy looking up topics and books that he fell asleep without changing.

When Jared woke up, he first felt the pain in the back of his head, and second he noticed how cold he was. He was outside. In a snowbank. He was also tied up and couldn't move.

"Oh god!"

Fucking Dave. Now he was gonna die of freezing to death. Yay. Wait! His phone was still in his pocket!

"Hey Siri!"

The phone beeped with recognition.

"C-Call Connor!"

_"Calling Connor~"_

Jared couldn't tell when Connor answered, but he eventually felt vibrating from the speaker.

"Connor! Dude, help!"

_"Where are you?"_

"My house, backyard. Hurry!"

He was pretty sure Connor hung up. Jared tried to keep wiggling to stay warm, but he had no clue of how long he had been outside or how cold it was. Eventually he heard Connor calling his name and he tried to sit up.

"Help! I'm in a snowbank!"

Connor raced over and fell to his knees. "How long?"

"I dunno, get me out."

Connor pulled a pocket knife from his bag and cut the rope that was trying Jared up. Connor then basically carried Jared to the car, thankfully the heat was still running.

It was quiet while they both processed things.

"What did I miss in class?"

Connor snapped his head up, "You almost died of hypothermia and you're asking about school?"

"...Yes."

Connor ran a hand over his face. "It's lunch right now, I'm getting you food."

"COFFEE!"

"No."

"Damn you."

Connor stayed quiet as he drove to get them lunch, and Jared just fell asleep.

"Babe, wake up. We're at school."

Jared sat up and glanced around. He was still very much cold, but it was mostly his hands. Jared was handed a burger and he gladly accepted.

"Thanks for coming to get me," Jared said, smiling.

"Well, I'm kinda in love with you, so...I had to."

"Okay, quick question, am I bleeding?"

Connor motioned for Jared to turn and he inspected the shorter boy's skin.

"...No."

Jared sighed and took a bite of his lunch, "Good."

"You're just having a rough week, aren't you?"

Jared sighed, "Let's hope it gets better fast."

 

The week did not get better. Well, for two days nothing happened, Jared didn't come over for reasons that shouldn't have to be explained, Audrey went on another business trip, and Jared decided to do a comedy skit for his forensics pice, fairly normal. And then it went wack again.

"Jared? Where are you?"

"Doing homework!"

"Come here please."

Jared put the book down and walked down to the living room. Jared had lied and said that he broke the ropes himself just so Dave didn't suspect.

Dave was by the door to the basement, Jared went first. Apparently Jared was going too slow, so he was pushed down the bottom three stairs.

"Ouch," Jared whispered.

And then his mouth was taped shut. That meant it was about to become very bloody.

"Dear Father I beg of you to rid this boy of his demons," Dave was basically chanting. "Please shine him with Your Holy light, release him from the depths of Hell. I one of Your most trusted followers shall open the gate and allow Your Grace to enter his damned soul."

Jared took his glasses off and tossed them aside. Then he waited. And waited. And waited. And Dave walked away. Which...was weird. Jared didn't move, something had to happen.

"On your knees for the Lord."

Ah, here it was. Jared went to his knees, and waited. But he didn't wait long. Dave dropped a bucket of water in front of Jared before forcing his head into the bucket. Jared held his breath and hoped that it was just a fake baptism or something. But then Jared's lungs were begging for air. This was not good.

"The Lord does not give you mercy, you give mercy to Him!"

Jared wasn't going to be let out until he struggled, okay. So he let out the breath he was holding...and waited.

Somehow, Jared was pulled up right before he sucked in for air. Jared was pulled outside and the water was dumped on him. The two sat in the snow for about a minute before Dave pulled him back in. And that's when the pain started.

It started with the usual kicking and hitting and yelling, all from Dave. But then it was being thrown against the wall and slammed into the ground and the stupid pole that Dave kept somewhere Jared couldn't find and he was hit with that. He counted to distract himself. Jared didn't fight it. He was done. He just, cried and counted. At 37 Dave stopped and pulled Jared up, ripping the tape off of his mouth.

"Why aren't you fighting, Demon?"

And a brilliant idea came to Jared's head.

"Why would I fight the Lord? Isn't that showing disgrace against His word?"

Dave blinked once, twice, and threw Jared back on the ground.

"God is testing me. I am being tested. YOU ARE MY TEST!"

"Are you failing or passing?"

Jared had to learn to shut up.

Dave grabbed the metal rod thing again and Jared was hit on his front. Dave usually never went for the chest, but...this wasn't exactly usual.

And then the doorbell rang, and Dave stopped.

"My driver is here," Dave said calmly. "Clean yourself up, I shall see you on Sunday. After church.

Dave left and Jared attempted to get up. He couldn't move. Then it hit him that it was just fear holding him down, so he finally got up and limped to his room. Blood, blood why was there so much. Jared looked in the mirror and frowned, a black eye. Why was he buzzing. Oh, his phone. He probably shouldn't have answered, but he did.

"Eh?"

_"Hey, so I was gonna ask for some help with...wait, are you okay?"_

"I-I-I...yeah. Totally. Why do are...I can't talk today. What's up?"

_"Were you sleeping?"_

"Uh...yes. I'm gonna, yeah...Just. I'm fine."

_"Babe, you sound like shit. What happened."_

"Uh...shit I left my glasses downstairs. Umm, nothing."

_What were you doing downstairs?"_

"Mm...nothing. I uh, I'm gonna let you go. Kay, love ya, bye!"

Jared hung up, crawled in his tub so the blood would stop dripping on the floor, and fell asleep.

 

"-are you sure he's not just tired?"

"No he was out of it, bad. You're the one who said we should do this."

"Connor...that's blood."

"Where?"

"Doorknob...it's on the stairs too. Let's check the basement."

"You do that, I'm gonna check his room."

"...Be careful."

Connor went up the stairs and went into Jared's room. The bed was empty. Larry came running up behind him.

"Basement had blood everywhere, no Jared."

"Uh...bathroom?"

Connor opened the door and glanced at his father.

"He was in here."

Connor glanced around, blood on the shower curtain. He pulled it back and found an unconscious Jared.

"Oh my god!"

Larry handed Connor the glasses from the basement. "Try getting him up, I'm gonna look for a first aid kit."

"...Dad, he's really cold."

"Well, he's also soaking wet."

Larry walked out the door and Connor went to his task.

"Jared, wake up."

Nothing. So Connor tried tapping his shoulder.

"Babe, c'mon."

Connor was fully shaking Jared at this point, "Jared, I'll make you waffles if you wake up right now!"

His eyes opened.

"Don't touch me, please."

Connor retracted his hands. Jared's eyes took a minute, but they focused on Connor eventually.

"Oh. Hi."

"You scared the shit out of me."

"What? No, I'm fine."

"No, you aren't."

Jared sighed, “Fine. I’m not.”

Larry came back up, “I cleaned up all the blood I could find but there wasn’t a first aid kit.”

Jared blinked slowly, “Under the sink.”

Connor turned to check, and he found the first aid kit. Both Murphy boys helped Jared out of the tub and had him sit on the edge of said tub. Larry had Jared take his shirt off so he could inspect the wounds.

 “Looks like the bleeding is down. I’m gonna disinfect the cuts and bandage them.

Jared nodded and just closed his eyes as Larry dabbed peroxide into each cut. It hurt, but it was for the best. Once all the bandages were on Connor handed Jared a soft sweatshirt to put on.

 “Thanks.”

Larry sighed, “I’m gonna clean up in here. Jared, get some rest.”

It was more of a stumble, but Jared managed to move from the bathroom to his bed with Connor’s assistance. Jared was handed a pair of pajama pants and Connor closed both doors to give him some privacy. Jared changed quickly and went back to his homework. Connor peeked in and frowned.

“Really? Homework? You should be sleeping.”

“If I don’t finish my homework I’m a failure.”

“You’re only a failure if you have a mushroom on your shirt.”

Jared gave Connor a glare, “This is something I need to do. I’m sorry if you think I should rest right now, but I need to do this. Once I’m done I’ll rest.”

That seemed to shut Connor up. Jared rushed to finish, but took time to go back over his answers and changed the few that he got wrong. Once everything was corrected Jared put the book and homework sheet back into his bag and flopped down on his bed. That was a mistake.

“Ow! Fuck!”

Connor sat next to Jared, “You okay?”

Jared rolled to his side since it didn’t hurt there, “No. But...I’m glad you came.”

“You just...scared me. On the phone. So, I told my dad and he said that we should check on you. So I didn’t...like, act on impulse. It’s nice to have someone to talk to about it.”

“You’ve got me.”

Connor sighed softly, “You don’t like talking about it. I can’t tell you how terrified I am all the time because it just makes it worse on you. But...my dad, he can talk through my worries with me and we can deal with the issues together. I can’t talk to you about it the same way I can to him. There’s a difference.”

“You’re right,” Jared hummed. “I know that I’m not truly happy he knows, but if it makes you feel better, it’s okay. I kinda ignored how bad it was for you.”

Connor took Jared’s glasses off his face, “Just rest for now. Okay?”

“Okay.”

They were quiet for a moment, then Larry came out of Jared’s bathroom.

“I cleaned everything up. Connor, you’re staying here tonight. I want you both at the house after school, understand?”

“He’s not coming back until Sunday afternoon,” Jared said. “He won’t be here.”

“I still want you at the house... Wait. Where’s Audrey?”

“Uhh...Colorado. I think. She won’t be back for a while either.”

“So you just sit here alone?”

“Yeah, usually. It’s better then getting the shit beat out of me.”

“Come over. I’ve gotta go back, Connor, don’t let Jared be destructive.”

“Okay.”

Jared wanted to protest that Connor was more destructive than he was, but he was too worn out to complain. Larry left and Connor pulled the comforter over both of them.

“You can touch me,” Jared whispered. “Just...gentle, please.”

Connor nodded and quickly wrapped his arms around Jared, holding onto the shorter boy with a loose embrace. Jared felt Connor press a kiss to his forehead and he sighed. He was okay. He was safe.

Twenty minutes later Jared was still awake. He couldn’t sleep.

“Con?”

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I’m too tired to sleep.”

“You make no sense.”

“I just can’t. Okay.”

Jared felt Connor get up, but didn’t want to ask where he was going. Connor came back with a bottle in his hand.

“What’s that?” Jared asked.

“ZzzQuil.”

Jared was handed a plastic cup with a little of the medicine in it. Jared hates the taste, but thanked Connor anyway. Jared watched Connor take some as well before snuggling next to him again.

“I couldn’t sleep either,” Connor sighed. “I love you, okay?”

“I love you too,” Jared murmured, pressing a kiss to Connor’s cheek. “Even when I’m a dick and don’t tell you stuff that I should.”

“Night.”

“G’night.”

 

Jared didn’t want to get up. He hurt. His everything hurt. But someone shook him awake anyway.

“No,” Jared whined.

“I have waffles downstairs,” Connor’s voice hummed softly.

“You kidnapped my brother’s rabbit?”

“What? No!”

Jared opened his eyes. Oh. Connor had meant waffles the food. Not Waffles the rabbit.

“Okay, alright, I’m up.”

Connor handed Jared a set of clothes before vanishing from the room. It was a slow process, but Jared managed to get up and get dressed. He spotted some painkillers and a cup of water on the nightstand, and he took them quickly before putting on his glasses and walking down the stairs.

Connor patted the spot next to him at the island. Jared slumped in his seat, but smiled softly at the waffles in front of him.

“Just another terrible day,” Jared hummed, biting into his first waffle.

“I guess that song does apply to this week,” Connor sighed, tapping Jared’s hand twice before lacing their fingers together. “But, we could try to have a good day instead.”

“...I just thought of something externally disturbing and I don’t know where it came from.”

“What?”

“...Do my mom and Dave have sex?”

“Wh...Jared, I’m eating!”

“No! Like...what if Dave is all like...staying a virgin for God or whatever? It makes sense! Maybe that’s why he’s a dick!”

“He’s a dick because he’s a horrible person,” Connor said. “You’re disturbing.”

“But you love me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

 

Turns out that the day was okay. Nothing great, but okay. The busier Jared became, the less his everything hurt. So he had that. But...he was still very much in pain, so when Connor opened the front door to his house and Jared stepped in, having a pair of arms thrown around him didn’t help.

“Why?”

The arm pulled away and Jared was basically looking in a mirror.

“Tim-Tam!”

“Surprise,” Cynthia sang, walking into the room. “I’ve been planning this all week.”

Benji, Graham, and Rich came out of the kitchen.

“Hey,” Jared whispered, smiling at his older brother.

“What happened to your face?” Graham asked.

“I slipped on some ice,” Jared lied. “I’ll be okay.”

“Is mom okay with if we stay the night at the house?” Benji asked.

“Uh, yeah! No one’s home, so she won’t care. Look, I’m gonna go finish my homework, then we’ll talk. Okay?”

“Y-Yeah,” Tim nodded, fixing his bow tie. “We w-will see you at h-home?”

“Of course Tim-Tam,” Jared assured. “Rich?”

Rich grabbed a cheese stick from Tim’s bag and handed it to him. The Kleinman family and boyfriends walked out of the house after thanking Cynthia and Jared wrapped her in a hug.

“Thank you,” Jared whispered.

“Anytime dear,” Cynthia beamed. “Go, finish that homework so you can spend time with your brothers.”

Jared nodded and followed Connor to his room. They started on their assignment again, but Connor didn’t seem to be able to focus.

“Hey, what’s up?” Jared nudged Connor’s foot.

“...Tim. Is there...is he okay?”

Ah, the feared question. The one that always made people look at Jared differently.

Jared looked down, “Uh, Tim...he’s autistic. He isn’t good at socializing the way we are. Sorry I didn’t say anything. He...I have a hard time handling him sometimes, and I’m his brother. I know it’s not his fault but sometimes I get frustrated with him and...it’s part of why I avoid him. I love Tim, I do, but...I’m embarrassed of him, and I feel awful that I am.”

Connor nodded, “It’s okay. I don’t...I don’t really know what to say, but don’t feel bad. I’m sure it’s natural to get frustrated, I mean, he thinks differently than you do, right? I’m sorry, I don’t really know how autism works.”

“That’s a good way to put it,” Jared said quietly. “He thinks differently. And...does things that I don’t understand. And he’s obsessed with cheese sticks. It’s...he’s weird. I’m weird. Benji’s weird. We’re all weird.”

“Well, thanks for telling me.”

“Thanks for not thinking I’m weird.”

“Oh, I do, just...I don’t think of you differently because your brother isn’t like everyone else I know. I love you, always will.”

“Thanks.”

“So...was it another terrible day?”

“No...but, I’m chalking this up as a terrible week.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Tim-Tam y’all can fight me on it!


	11. Chapter Eleven

Jared sat on the hood of his car, waiting. He had messaged Connor five minutes ago, so he should have been rushing out the door. Soon enough he saw his boyfriend walk over to the car and he smiled.

“Hey babe,” Jared hummed, getting up to kiss Connor’s cheek. “Ready?”

“Jare, you texted me at two in the morning saying ‘My car, end of the street, now.’ I don’t know what to be ready for.”

“Just get in,” Jared hummed, getting in on the driver side.

Connor opened his door and had to move a bag full of cans before sitting down, “Jared, what are we doing.”

Jared started driving, “Senior prank. I’ve been planning this since freshman year. Maybe earlier.”

“I thought our class was gonna hire a  mariachi band to follow the principal around for a day.”

“That plan is bullshit compared to mine. I’ve recruited my brothers and the boyfriends to help, and get me the items I needed but couldn’t get myself. I need you because you’re good at art shit.”

“You’re so lucky that I love you,” Connor grumbled.

“Triple shot coffee is in the cup holder for you. I chugged two cans of Monster before leaving the house.”

“Jesus Christ,” Connor mumbled, grabbing the can and downing it. He looked in the back seat, “Holy shit. Where were you keeping this stuff?”

“Storage unit that we keep all the valuables in,” Jared explained. “I picked it up after school, that’s why I didn’t come over. I’m pretty lucky Audrey and Dave are gone this week, they aren’t home to be upset for sneaking out. There want any sneaking at all. I just left.”

Jared watched Connor sigh before crushing the empty can in his hands.

Soon enough they were at the school. Jared unlocked the door using the ID chip he was borrowing from the art teacher and he held the door open with a wood block. That way no alarms were raised.

“Okay,” Jared ran back to the car and gave Connor the bag full of cans. “This is spray paint. Go into the art room, take out the ceiling tiles, and paint the pipes any way you want. There’s a mask in there too so you don’t breathe in the fumes too much. Now go.”

“I need a key to get into the room Jared.”

Jared sighed, but went down the north wing of the school, opening each classroom door as they went. At the end of the hall he unlocked the art room and let Connor go in.

“Go to the cafeteria when you’re done.”

“Okay,” Connor was already standing on a table, removing the tiles.

Jared went around the rest of the school, opening the doors. He left storage rooms and special ed. rooms alone, he didn’t trust himself to not break anything. When he made it back to the entrance Benji was pulling up with the borrowed truck and trailer. Jared was lucky the school didn’t have security cameras.

“Hello brothers,” Jared greeted, handing Benji, Rich, and Graham a can of coffee, like he had to Connor. Tim got regular coffee, he didn’t trust his brother with anything else.

“Rich, Tim, you two take the plastic balls and fill the wrestling room,” Jared commanded. “Benji, there’s a bag of  sparkly confetti in my car, take that and go find the middle school English class room, it’s down in the south wing. Sprinkle the shit everywhere. Graham, take the hay bales and replace the agriculture classroom chairs with them. Come see me when done.”

With that everyone got to work and Jared grabbed his bag of supplies. He went all the way down to the opposite side of the school from Connor and logged onto the high school English teachers computer. He had her passwords for when he had to help her start up a new classroom setting for her mythology class. Once he was in Jared plugged in a thumb drive and downloaded the file to the computer. He then removed the drive and activated the file and turned up the speakers. The whole Lightning Thief musical sound track started playing. As she was the mythology teacher, he found this pleasing.

Jared got up and went around, hanging the tiny pom-poms from the ceiling. Once that was done he taped a huge lightning bolt to the smart board and pulled the little card out of his pocket, leaving it on her desk. It simply read:

From the Senior Class

Jared then left the room, the music blaring, knowing he had made the soundtrack loop constantly. The only way to make it stop was by deleting the file, a minor inconvenience. That was the whole plan, minor inconveniences or things that helped. The hay bales were a joke, the painting in the art room was to be nice and make the room colorful, if need be the teacher could put the tiles back. The glitter was because both English teachers were dance coaches and Jared saw them practicing once and a while. That was what the pom-poms were for. The ball pit in the wrestling room was because Jared hates the gym teacher. Everything had a reason. He pulled out his list and checked those items off. Benji met up with him on his way back to the entrance and Graham was there when they arrived.

“Okay,” Jared hummed. “Graham, in my car there’s a bunch of wizard hats, grab them and go to the chemistry lab, it’s two doors down from where you were. Benji, go to the gym and cover it with streamers. Any way you want, they’re also in my car.”

Jared want to his car as well, grabbing all the squirrel stuff he had found. Some glass, some stuffed, he had squirrels.

Jared brought the squirrels into the other high school English room, this one was a male teacher. And he liked squirrels. So Jared placed the squirrels around the room, and at the end he left a box of diapers on his desk because he had a baby on the way. He left another one of his cards on the computers keyboard.

Jared then went around and left cards in the other rooms that had been pranked. He checked his phone and smiled, ahead of schedule.

Connor came running over as Jared was walking towards the car, paint on his finger tips, “What now?”

Jared handed him a can of black spray paint, “Choir room, paint a huge treble cleft on the back wall with little music notes on the sides. Not too many.”

Connor ran back inside with his task and Tim came out with Rich, “We did it!”

Tim nodded, “W-we even b-blocked off the d-doors w-w-with some spare foam. S-so the balls d-don’t roll out.”

“Nice,” Jared checked it off the list. “Uh, next is the biology room, I want you two to grab the footballs from the truck and place one on every desk, he’s a coach. When you’re done I’ll see what we have left.”

The two ran to the truck and Jared went back inside. He went back down the south wing and went into the history room, that one was simple. He just had to flip the whole room around. He started with the desks, then the frames on the wall, the book cases, and finally he went into the closet and pulled out the Dr. Who cardboard cutout. He put it up near the door and placed one of his cards down.

”Hey,” Graham came running up. “What’s the bag of fish food for?”

“Room next to the chem lab,” Jared explained. “Sprinkle it on the desks and then leave the containers on the computer. Natural science.”

Graham took off with the bag and Jared went back to the car. He grabbed the bag full of math mistake photos and stuck them around the middle school math room. On the wall, on desks, on the windows.

“Hey babe,” Connor now had paint on his jacket. “What next?”

“There’s a sign folded up in my car, a ladder on the trailer. Hang the sign over the windows that show the library through. You’re tall.”

Connor pecked his cheek in confirmation before jogging away. When he finished the math mistake photos up he taped a card to the white board and left. Tim and Rich were walking toward him.

“Blow up rock chairs,” Jared pointed to the other science classroom. “Air pump is in my car. Replace the chairs.”

Jared watched Rich physically pick Tim up bridal style before running towards the doors. His family was weird.

Benji came by and Jared had him attack the shop classroom with sawdust and he went to the band room and hung the marching uniforms around the room. After that he went back to checking that a card was in every room before he sat down in the cafeteria next to Connor. The banner was just like the cards, but a little better:

From the Senior Class ♥️

“What next?” Graham and Benji came up.

“Uh...just the weight room I think. I couldn’t come up with anything else. I had ideas, but then the teachers got new jobs and it didn’t make sense anymore. Tank of helium, balloons. Make the weights light. Maybe make them float a little. Go my minions.”

“Why a-aren’t you d-d-doing it?”

“Because I planned it Tim-Tam,” Jared said calmly, laying back on the table. “And there’s a box of cheese sticks in my car for you when you’re done.”

Tim ran off at that. Jared laughed to himself as his brothers hurried to join him. Connor volunteered to grab the box of cheese sticks for Tim while they were gone.

“Jare?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I spend the night with you?”

“Sure.”

 Tim came running back, “W-We did it!”

“Nice,” Jared sat up, watching his family walk down the hall. “Okay everyone, we can go home. Thanks for the help.”

“This was awesome,” Rich decreed. “Later losers!”

Jared pulled Connor to the car and plopped himself down in the front seat. He was exhausted, but it was nice to drive with no one else on the road. The two stumbled into the house and crashed onto Jared’s bed.

“Love you,” Connor murmured, wrapping his arms around Jared’s waist.

“Love you too.”

 

“Connor, you asshole!”

Connor flinched as he was swatted with a book. Jared closed his locker and sighed, he was still tired.

“What?”

“Mom freaked out when you weren’t home when we got ready for school!”

“Sorry,” Connor was slumped over, his hair falling in his face.

“Hey, uh, Jared?”

Jared didn’t really mean to, but he glared at Evan. When he was fatigued he got crabby. That and his jealousy. I mean, Evan got to hold Zoe’s hand in the hall. Evan got to stare at Zoe with a stupid smile. Did Jared get to do anything like that with Connor? No. It wasn’t Evan’s fault, Jared was mature enough to admit that, but he was jealous that Evan could be himself and he couldn’t.

“Yeah?”

“Here.”

Evan was holding out a cup of coffee, most likely bought from a gas station.

“Uh...”

“There was a sale,” Zoe explained. “But he doesn’t drink coffee.”

“It’s not coffee, it’s a latte,” Evan corrected, smiling at his girlfriend.

“If it’s got caffeine I don’t really care,” Jared accepted the coffee. “Thanks.”

“Share,” Connor commanded, holding out his hand. Jared took a sip before handing it to Connor.

“Why are you guys so tired?” Evan asked.

Alana Beck came storming over, “Zoe, we have an emergency student council meeting right now.”

“Why?”

“We can discuss it there, c’mon.”

Zoe was practically pulled away, but she gave a wave to the boys before vanishing around the corner.

“What’s that about?”

Jared shrugged, not trusting himself to keep quiet if he looked at Connor. He just  took the coffee back and started walking to class.

 

The prank went over perfectly. All the teachers were either slightly annoyed or laughing, just as planned. After school Jared offered for Connor to come over and he accepted. They had finished their homework, so it would probably be a night of Netflix and snacks.

“Have any new bops?” Connor asked, scrolling through Jared’s playlists.

Jared thought for a moment, “I’m on the brink of deciding if it’s an actual bop or not. I’m like...87.4% sure it’s a bop, but you can’t hear it until I’m sure.”

“Okay, how about...BMC? We haven’t jammed to that in a long time.”

“Bitch yass!” Jared cried, cranking up the volume. “I forgot about my classics! I haven’t even gotten to the broadway recording yet! Google it for me!”

Connor did as asked and they jammed to the songs the whole way home. Jared always turned down the volume on his street because his neighbors were picky, and he almost missed his house when he saw a car parked in his spot.

“The fuck?”

Connor looked over, “That’s my dad. Park on the street.”

“There’s no parking on this side, Jesus! Get out and tell him to move please, he can park on the corner. Dave is picky about the parking situations.”

Connor did as asked and soon Jared was in his parking space on the driveway. Larry came over once he was out of the car and started inspecting him.

“Dad!”

“Are you okay?”

Jared did not like being touched at the moment, “Yes. Get your paws off me. Now.”

Larry let out a sigh, “Connor wasn’t home, I assumed you called him over because you were hurt. I didn’t want to raise alarms so I waited.”

Jared unlocked the front door, letting everyone in, “Sorry. Someone should have called. If you must know, and you cannot repeat this to anyone, we were out committing our senior prank.”

Larry paused, “I got an email about that. Your principal isn’t happy. But it was all innocent, so I won’t repeat it.”

Jared walked into the kitchen, checking the pantry. He had to go shopping for his mother in a few days. She always paid him back, but it was annoying that he had to do it and Dave couldn’t. He was already abusive, he could at least grab some food on his way home from work. But, they were both out of town, so he had no choice.

“I have more interview questions for you to answer,” Larry handed over the notebook. He’d answer them later. He wasn’t in a good mindset for it.

The front door slammed, “Jared!”

He couldn’t stop his expression from changing before it did. He went back to neutral in an instant, but both Connor and Larry saw the fear cross over him. Jared handed the notebook back to Larry and pointed to the stairs.

“Hide,” Jared whispered. “Somewhere he won’t look. I’ll take care of it.”

“Jare—”

“Now,” Jared commanded.

Once both of them were up the stairs he walked to the parlor, “Hello.”

Dave frowned at him, “I thought a surprise visit could be useful. To make sure you’re still behaving.”

 

Connor was freaking out. He had been forced to hide in a storage closet, his father trying to console him.

“Connor, I’m going to go listen in, stay here.”

“He’s a psychopath!”

“I know. Don’t open this door. I’ll come back for you when it’s safe, okay?”

Connor nodded and watched his father slip out. Once the door was shut Connor flipped on the light. He needed something to distract himself. He looked around, but nothing was interesting. Then he noticed a tote labeled “CAM.” He didn’t know what that meant, but it was something.

Connor opened the tote up and pulled out a photo. The child in it could have been Jared or Tim, but after closer inspection he found a date, and it was before either had been born. That meant it was Benjamin. The photo showed an adult who looked exactly like how Ben did now holding baby Ben. They were outside, a younger looking Audrey laughing next to them. He flipped the photo over and found a note:

Audrey, Benji age 2, and Cameron, summer camping trip

Who the fuck was Cameron. Connor had heard the name come from his dad in the past, but never from Jared. He kept digging. There was a video camera in the tote under more photos. He pulled it out for later. He decided to stop after that and save his questions for Jared. And fuck his boyfriend was probably getting the shit beat out of him. Agh!

Connor slipped the camera into his pocket and stepped out of the closet. He couldn’t hear anything. He walked down the hall and turned to go down the stairs. He could see Larry about half way down. Connor went next to him.

“—you’ve been fairly decent.”

“I haven’t done anything.”

“Don’t be idle. It gives time for demons to enter your soul.”

“Okay.”

Connor heard a thump and the sound of something shattering and hitting the floor before it was quiet again.

“I have to be back. I shall see you next week.”

“Okay.”

“Jared, be sure to clean up your mess.”

“Of course.”

 

“How many times do I have to tell you I’m fine,” Jared huffed, watching Connor bandage his arm. A mug had been thrown and a shard got stuck in his arm. Honestly one of the best things to happen considering what Dave was capable of.

“Shut up,” Connor muttered, adjusting the bandage before sticking it on.

“I got a video,” Larry said. He’d been quiet lately. “You can’t see anything, but you can hear him threatening you.”

“That’s probably good,” Jared sighed. “I’m done. I’m fucking done with him. Eleven years of this, I’m done.”

“Jare?”

“I’m not saying today or tomorrow,” Jared mumbled. “But I can guarantee within the month. He won’t get to hurt me anymore. I just...need more time to prepare myself.”

“Okay,” Larry looked a bit too happy. “Thank you.”

Jared pointed a finger at Connor, “Don’t even try to hug me right now.”

Connor nodded.

“Is it okay for me to head home?” Larry asked. “You’ll be fine?”

“Yeah,” Jared sighed.

Larry nodded to himself, placing the notebook back on the table before walking out. Jared grabbed it before he could forget about it.

“So...Netflix?” Connor gave a small smile.

“That sounds good.”

 

Jared was getting sloppy with his rule breaking. First it was having Connor over when his mother and Dave weren’t around, but that wasn’t usually a bad idea. But going to his brother’s house, that’s a new level of defiance from Dave.

At the moment he was playing ukulele for his brother. It was Tim-Tam’s birthday after all. He hadn’t noticed when Connor walked in, but once he met his eye he almost messed up the strumming.

“—you could help me fit in with the rest of our school,” Tim sang. When he sang it was the only time he didn’t stutter. “If not whatevs, whatevs. Alright I said it! I’m cool.”

Jared decided to not look at Connor because Connor had his hair in a bun and it was distracting.

“You know there’s a lot of different things that makes a kid the sort of kid he shouldn’t be, nt be. Shouldn’t be, nt be. Like his best friend is six foot tall and  _isnt real_ and I admit it! He’s a bee, a bee. Bzz, a bee a bee. And when I wanna touch a person they get scared and run away like I’m some bee, some bee. Just some bee, some bee. Oh why won’t someone love me for the boy I am and know I’ll always be?”

Jared just smiled at brother as he purposefully went through the stuttering and made himself sniff. It was funny, he heard Tim’s friends chuckle.

“And then I saw in your eye,” Tim started singing again. “You don’t think I’m some cripple.” Why did that line always hurt? “So give me a chance. Or at least just a nipple.”

That made people laugh.

“You could do it now or wait till the weekend. Or maybe instead...Will you just be my friend?”

Jared caught Rich smiling like an idiot at Tim. Those two were great for each other.

“ ‘Cause I think you know the world can be kinda cruel, but, you’re not a slut and I’m not a fool, so, whatevs, whatevs, whatevs. Whatevs, whatevs, what-eh-eh-evs. Whatevs, whatevs, whatevs, we are cool.”

Rich walked over and plopped down next to Tim.

“Through whatevs, whatevs, whatevs. We are cool.”

Jared strummed the final chord and the small audience started clapping. It mainly consisted of Tim’s friends, but it was his birthday, so who cares?

Jared walked across the living room and stood next to Connor.

“So,” Connor hummed. “Are we dating right now or no?”

“Evan is gonna show up soon, so not tonight,” Jared sighed, meeting Connor’s eye, “And, unfortunately, my mother.”

“That’s what I don’t get,” Connor muttered. “She goes out of her way to spend time with her sons that don’t live with her, but she forgets you have a hazelnut allergy? The hell!”

“Well, I don’t like her, so don’t worry.”

“You can’t not like your mom Jare.”

“She has given me enough reason to not like her, I just don’t.”

Jared walked over to the kitchen and started digging through the fridge.

“Jared, what are you doing?” Benji came over.

“Looking for booze, duh.”

“Mom won’t be happy if you do that.”

“Benji, my dearest older brother,” Jared clasped his hands together. “May I please have one twisted tea?”

Benji sighed, “Just one. Don’t get wasted in my house please.”

Jared smiled, “Thanks!”

Jared grabbed the can and walked outside, Connor following.

“Why don’t you talk about your dad?”

Jared have him a look, “Really? Now isn’t the time Con.”

“I didn’t even know his name until this week. I was forced to hide in a closet and  found his stuff. It’s all packed away. Photos, all sorts of stuff.” Connor pulled out an old video camera. “Ever seen this before?”

Jared clenched a fist, “Don’t dig through shit that doesn’t belong to you.”

“Jared, come on.”

“Give me the camera.”

“Here,” Connor handed it over. “He seems like a happy guy. Nice even. Why’d you keep his stuff after your parents divorced?”

Jared twitched. He didn’t like the topic. “My parents didn’t divorce, Connor. My father isn’t here anymore.”

“So he died?”

“We don’t know. Most likely.”

“Jared that makes no sense.”

“Stop asking me about it! I’ve got two brothers, go ask them.” He was not about to cry about this. “Leave me out of it.”

Connor gave him a look before walking away. Good. Why’d he even agree to go out with Connor? He’s such a mess, and Connor deserved so much more. God, he was so stupid.

Jared climbed up the tree in the front yard and sat on a branch. He wanted to pout alone. He wouldn’t be missed. Tim was having fun and Benji was probably trying to make sure no one brought pot into the house. He heard breaks that sounded like his mother’s and he looked up. Here was Audrey, big present box in her arms, walking up to the house. Audrey hadn’t even been home on his last birthday, she was out with Dave.

Dave. Complete dick. Nothing good about him. Jared didn’t want to think about him.

“Jared?”

He looked down, Evan was at the base of the tree.

“What?”

“Are you okay?”

“Do I fucking look like it?”

Evan decided to climb up next to him, “What’s wrong?”

Jared saw him grabbing at his arm, the one that had been broken, “You know, you never told me how you broke your arm.”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“Tell me.”

Evan sighed, “Well, it’s actually kinda funny. So I was working as an apprentice park ranger over at Ellison, right? And this one day, I just, I see this huge oak tree and I started climbing, y’know? And well, I get up there and uh, the beach just snapped and I fell to the ground.”

“Where’s the funny part?”

“Oh right! Well uh, the funny part, you see, while I was on the ground, for like ten minutes, I kept thinking ‘Oh any minute now someone will come for me. Any minute now.’ So yeah.”

“Did they come?”

“Heh, no. No one came.”

“So you fell out of a tree?”

“Yep.”

Jared elbowed Evan’s side, “You’re a fucking acorn.”

“...Yeah. So...why are you up here.”

“I’m pissed with Connor.”

“Oh, uh, why?”

“I...sometimes I forget you are my brothers best friend, you already know. He keeps just...pushing me to talk about my dad, and I don’t want to.”

“I mean, do you blame him for being curious? He is your best friend, and you probably never talk about him... Shit! What happened to your arm?”

Jared didn’t need the bandage anymore, but you could clearly see the gash.

“I’m clumsy. I don’t even remember anymore.”

“That looks bad. It might get infected.”

“I’ll take care of it if it does. Evan, just go enjoy the party. Tim is gonna be so fucking happy to see you, just go.”

Evan nodded before climbing down. Jared sat in the tree the whole night. Once Tim’s friends left he climbed down and slipped into the house. He went to the basement and flopped down on the air mattress they had set up earlier. Audrey would get the guest room and Evan would take the couch.

Jared shut his eyes and tried to fall asleep. He jumped up when he felt someone tap his shoulder.

“What?”

Connor gave him a smile, “We gonna cuddle or no?”

“Go home, you aren’t part of the sleepover gang.”

Connor took that as the oppertunity to plop down on one end of the air mattress.

“Connor!”

“Quit being salty.”

Jared flopped down again and growled at Connor, “You’re a dick.”

“I know.”

Connor held out his arms and Jared snuggled next to him.

“I’m mad at you.”

“I know.”

“I still love you though.”

“Love you too Jare.”

“A horrible mistake, really.”

“Shush.”

“M’kay.”

 

Connor was nice enough to not mention his father again until they were back to stable. Jared had been staying at the Murphy house almost every night because Dave was now abroad for work. In Barbados or something. Jared didn’t care. Audrey was never home, so it’s not like she noticed.

“Okay, are you ready for the sob story?”

Connor sat on his bed, “Yep. Lay it on me.”

So Jared let it out. His dad was an army guy. All about serving his country and protecting his family. You’d think that he’d get hurt while fighting, but no. Cameron Kleinman was home when he went missing. He had gone to the store, Benji’s birthday was coming up and Audrey needed eggs for the brownies she was making him. He went out, walking because it was a nice day, and according to the witnesses, was grabbed from behind and thrown into a van before they drove away. Three months later they confirmed his death because they found a severed finger. A. Severed. Finger. The authorities said his organs were probably sold on the black market and they did a poor job disposing the body.

And three months later Audrey was engaged to Dave.

“Jare...I honestly don’t know how to respond to that.”

“Then don’t,” Jared sighed. “I don’t like thinking about it. I barely remember him anyway. I’m just, I moved on. It’s just stupid that my mother literally left me and my brothers for a guy. In reality that’s what she did.”

“Yeah...wanna hug?”

“Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, the story is only gonna have a few more chapters! Like, two or three! Agh, this is probably the story I’ve made the most serious, so, like, I might cry when I write the ending.
> 
> BUT WHEN I END THIS I CAN FINALLY WORK ON THE EVAN/MIGUEL STORY SO....


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH! ONE MORE CHAPTER!!!

“Jared, you’re starting to freak me out. You never invite me over.”

“I need witnesses,” Jared said, patting Zoe’s hand. “Just trust me.”

“Witnesses for what?” Connor piped up from the back seat. Zoe was the girl so she got shotgun.

“You’ll find out,” Jared said, glancing at him through the mirror. “Evan? Are you dying?”

“No! I’m just...It’s weird to have you invite us all over.”

“Everything will be fine.”

Jared honestly couldn’t believe he was going to do this. He needed Dave pissed beyond belief if this was going to work, and Connor coming over could accomplish that on its own, but Jared wanted more people around. The more the better.

“We’re here,” Jared hummed, parking the car.

The four teens got out and Jared welcomed them inside. Just as planned, the Kleinman brothers were already inside. Thankfully Donny was with his mother. Jared saw his mother talking to Benji while Dave glowered in the corner. Perfect, he was already pissed.

“Hey Mom,” Jared called. “Hope you don’t mind, I invited my friends over.”

“Oh, it’s not a problem,” Audrey’s attention turned to Evan. “Evan, how have you been? How’s your mom?”

Jared left Evan to handle himself and sat at the counter. He could feel Dave’s eyes glaring at him. Jared beckoned Connor over and had the taller boy sit next to him.

“Hey Mom,” Jared called again. “I actually invited everyone over for a reason, so...”

“What is it?”

Audrey was still trying to win his trust back, it was a losing battle so far. He just stood up and gave a small smile to everyone in the room, even Dave.

“So, it’s taken me a long time to accept this, and honestly it’s been years, but I feel like it’s time I came clean.”

Connor and Benji gave him the same look, he ignored them.

“So, I just wanted to say...I’m gay.”

It was quiet for a moment. Connor looked anxious, his brothers looked relieved. Audrey wasn’t readable, Zoe was smiling, and Evan didn’t look at him because Evan didn’t do eye contact.

But then the moment was over. In an instant Jared felt a cup smash against his head.

“Dave!” Audrey yelped.

Jared won. Dave ran around the island and yanked Jared by the arm, pulling him towards the basement. Both of them were silent while everyone around them went into chaos. Despite the absolute hell he was about to go through, Jared was happy that this would be the last time.

But then Jared was practically thrown down the stairs and the moment ended because fuck— that hurt!

“JARED!”

He’s not sure who screamed, because the room is spinning way too fast, but his ears somehow focus on Dave. He’s muttering something, the pole in hand. Probably a prayer. He can’t feel his hand. Fuck.

It takes two hits, but Jared starts to register the pain. He hears thumping on the stairs, watches as Benji tries to get Dave away from him. Jared wants to tell him it’s okay, but he can’t find his voice. He can barely tell who’s who in the tussle. He spies Rich, the red streak gives him away. Rich grabs the pole from the ground. The room is blurry.

Dave spots Rich and manages to slip out of Benji’s grasp. He grabs the pole, jabs Rich in the chest, causing him to collapse on the floor, then he swings the pole and Benji and he hits the ground as well. But they’re both conscious, so it’s okay. Connor was probably holding Tim back, because he hadn’t shown up yet, and Tim can be vicious.

Dave jabs him with the pole, “I tried to save you,” he laughed, hysterical. “But, there is no saving a demon.” Jared’s picked up off the floor. “Go back to where you belong.”

He can barely stand, but Jared meets his eye. He’s won, that’s all that matters now. He deserves his hero moment where he can manage one last retort. He let them slip on accident all the time, this one needs to be purposeful and powerful.

He thinks of the lists...

**Dave Gaustad's Five Things**

**1.** **PSYCHOPATH**

**2\. Abuser**

**3\. Hates children**

**4\. "Following the commands of God." (AKA: an asshole)**

**5\. Loser**

“Rot. In. Hell.”

Dave throws him against the glass patio door and everything goes black.

 

He wakes up slowly. First: he’s not home. Second: it’s dark. Third: he hurts.

At first the pain is the usual pain he’s used to getting after punishments. But then his hand starts spasming and it hurts so bad that he lets out a yelp.

He notes a light behind what looks like a sliding door. He keeps quiet. The door opens and a blurry figure steps out, blinding him with the light. He isn’t wearing his glasses. Fuck.

“Jared?”

When the figure gets closer Jared realizes that the figure is actually Connor.

“Con? Where am I?”

“Hospital,” Connor shushed, grabbing his glasses from somewhere Jared can’t see and planting them on his face. Now Jared can see him properly. “It’s late, you should rest.”

Jared’s starting to notice that Connor’s hair is wet and that he looks exhausted, but then his hand starts spasming again and that hurts so his attention goes back to that.

“Shit,” Connor gets up from where he was crouched. “I’ll go get a nurse Jare, I’ll be right back.”

Jared does not like that idea, he uses his other hand to grab Connor’s sleeve.

“I don’t wanna be alone,” he whimpered. “Please.”

Connor’s eyes scream concern, but he pulls up a chair next to Jared’s bed. His eyes flit to the side and he picks up a remote looking thing. Connor presses a button and a long beep commences. Soon a nurse is in the doorway.

“Oh,” the nurse locks eyes with Jared. “He’s up. I’ll get the lab crew in here—”

“Something is wrong with him,” Connor snapped. “He’s hurting! Give him five minutes.”

The nurse nods her head in apology, “Okay, sweetheart, where’s the pain?”

“My hand,” Jared mumbled.

“The broken one?”

“It’s broken?” Jared lifted his arm to see, but the nurse pulled it right back down, gently though.

“Yes. Several bones in your hand and wrist. You’re most likely suffering from muscle spasms, I’ll go get a morphine injection to put in through your IV. Tomorrow we will put you on weaker pain killers, but this will work for now since you just got up and need more rest. I’ll send the lab crew in shortly after, okay?”

Jared doesn’t really focus on the last part, “Isn’t morphine addictive?”

“Yes, but we are giving it to you in a controlled setting and you’re only getting it once, you should be fine.”

Jared nodded his head and the nurse vanished.

“How long have I been here?”

Connor gives him a sad look, “Three days. You had to have surgery on your hand...twice. The doctors looked at your back, but they can’t get rid of the scars. There...you ended up with shards of glass stuck in your back, but they were all safely removed. There’s...a lot of damage that we didn’t see coming.”

“Why are you here?”

Connor blinked, “I love you. Why shouldn’t I be here?”

“No, not like that,” Jared gives his first smile since waking up. “Like...why are you here so late? Why is your hair wet? Like...shouldn’t Audrey be in your place or something?”

Connor sighed, “Your mom has visited, but...she claims that it hurts to see you like this. She feels responsible.”

“Well, it is her fault.”

“No it’s not, okay, it’s Dave’s fault. Your mom fucking fell to the floor sobbing when he pulled you down there. Graham went to comfort her while I held Tim back, by the way, he’s a beast. I get she’s not a good mom, but it’s not her fault.”

The nurse came back in and went to the IV stand. She went to the connector and placed a vial into it. Jared watched the vial empty before she removed it and left again.

Jared glanced at his arm, “Where’s the IV?”

“Uh...it’s in your neck.”

Jared immediately felt his neck. Sure enough, there was tape all around the IV. Weird.

“What about everyone else?”

“Rich has some bruises, but he’s fine. Ben has a concussion, but he’s doing better. Tim bit me, but it didn’t hurt too bad. Uh...other than that there isn’t anything.”

“What happened to Dave?”

“Oh, he was arrested. Obviously. I called the cops the moment he threw the cup at you. Technically the court battle is still going on, but that’s only because you’re healing still and we need a statement from you before he can go to prison for forever.”

“He’s gone?”

“Yes Jared, he’s gone. He’s not gonna hurt you ever again.”

Jared suddenly feels weird. Like...like he’s spaced out. He feels tingly everywhere and he doesn’t hurt anymore.

“Connor.”

“What?”

“Connor, the drugs.”

Connor arches a brow, but then he starts laughing, “Oh you poor innocent thing. How’s morphine feel?”

“Weird.”

“Do you wanna keep talking or do you want to try and rest?”

“Talk,” Jared decided, reaching his good hand out for Connor to hold. “Who’s my lawyer?”

“One of my dads associates,” Connor explained. “My dad was too involved to be your lawyer.”

“I love you,” Jared mumbled, giving Connor a grin. “So fucking much.”

“I know you do,” Connor leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead. “I love you too.”

“Are Evan and Zoe okay?”

“They’re okay. They’ve been bringing me my school work while I’m here. Although it’s been more difficult without my tutor to help me.”

“Wait, I missed school?”

“Yeah, you were kinda asleep.”

“They need to bring me my work!”

“No, Jared you need to rest.”

“I need to do the work,” Jared whined. “I need to! I need to if I’m going to be valedictorian”

“You’d be runner up either way,” Connor shushed. “Alana Beck would get first. Besides, I’m pretty sure you’ll just be excused from the work after all of this.”

Jared let out a whine before giving up.

“How are you?”

Connor gives a small smile, “Better now that you’re up.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m relieved. Also, there’s literally ten places you can order food from and they’ll deliver it to your room for you, so I’ve been eating good too.”

“Connor, your parents know you’re here?”

“Yes. My mom checks on me every morning and Dad comes by after he leaves the court room each night...I wanted to make sure you knew I didn’t leave you. I haven’t left. I’m not gonna.”

“So your hair is wet because you showered?”

Connor snorted, “Yes love. I do take care of my hygiene.”

“Good.”

The lab crew came in. Connor backed up to give them room. They took a blood sample from Jared’s IV and checked some more vitals to make sure that he was okay before leaving. After that Jared felt tired. So he closed his eyes. He just about to fully drift off when he felt Connor take his glasses off of his face again and he got a quick kiss. It was the best he had felt in a long time.

 

Jared felt weird, but apparently he had to wear the suit. His lawyer was talking to him, but Jared ignored her. He was too anxious.

“Jared,” a voice called.

Jared looked up and locked eyes with Zoe. She was at the front of the pack that was her family. Evan was at her side. He hadn’t seen them yet since waking up. He was doing better, but his hand still spasmed from time to time. He had medicine for it now though.

“Hi,” Jared glanced at Evan, “You okay?”

“I already gave my statement,” Evan shrugged. “Just...you scared me.”

“I’d say let’s hug it out, but that’s gay, so...”

“Jared, you are gay.” Zoe pointed out.

Oh yeah. They knew. Now he was embarrassed.

“It’s okay,” Evan assured, “Honestly it’s relieving, because now Connor has a chance and I—”

“What do you mean?” Jared gave him a look. “ ‘Connor has a chance.’ What the fuck does that mean.”

“He’s into you,” Zoe explained, gesturing behind her to him. “Like...he has it bad. He didn’t even hide it while you were in the hospital.”

“Zoe,” Jared placed a hand on her shoulder. “Connor and I have been dating for months. He’s known.”

Evan’s jaw drops. Zoe whips her head back and forth, “Oh my god that makes sense.”

“What makes sense?” Connor’s finally walked over. He slips an arm around Jared without warning, and Jared doesn’t flinch for once. It doesn’t bother him at all actually.

“That we’re dating,” Jared said.

“I thought I made that quite clear,” Connor sighed, glancing at Zoe and Evan. 

“So,” Zoe nudges Jared’s foot. “Have you two banged yet?”

Connor’s immediate response is ‘no,’ but Jared gives a small ‘yes’ and things get out of hand.

“Jared, we have not had sex.”

“Well, we kinda did, you just don’t remember.”

Evan has walked away from the conversation, but Zoe stays, interested.

“Explain,” Connor commands. “I’m pretty sure I’d remember.”

“Remember how I said I knew you were into me for a while before we started dating?”

“...Yeah?”

“Well...remember what I said about Halloween?”

“Yeah...”

Jared sighed, “Well, basically, you were black out drunk and were trying to make a move on me, and I just kinda thought you were touch starved or something but my greedy ass wanted you to like me so I partially went along with it and...well...yeah.”

“But what happened?”

“Well, you asked for consent, so good for you, but yeah...I got a blow job and you didn’t remember.”

Connor blinked. Zoe on the other hand started laughing her ass off.

“So...uh...I’m asking for more details later,” Connor said, patting Jared’s shoulder. “But...okay.”

“Jared,” his lawyer, Ms. Heron called. “It’s time.”

Jared went next to her and they walked into the court room. Dave was sitting on the other end of the room, handcuffed to the table. Jared took his seat as the judge came out. No cameras were allowed, or recording devices in general, but reporters still sat in the rows of benches, notebooks and pencils in hand.

“To start off,” the judge said. “Ms. Kleinman, your request for divorce has been accepted.”

“Thank you,” Audrey whispered from her seat.

“Now, on with the case,” the judge sighed. “Mr. Gaustad, have you changed your mind on your plead?”

Dave stood, “Your Honor, I refuse to be insulted with a plead agreement. If I am to be punished for doing God’s good work, then so be it. I am following in the path that I have been shown is fit.”

“So your plead?”

“I am still innocent, ma’am. If you think that following in His path is wrong, so be it.”

“Thank you Mr. Gaustad,” the judge said shortly. “Does the defendant have anything else to add?”

Dave’s lawyer shook his head. The judge turned to Jared and Ms. Heron, “Now, I believe we have more developments from the plaintiff?”

“Yes Your Honor,” Ms. Heron agreed. “I’d like to ask my client to step up to the stand.”

“Of course,” the judge nodded.

Jared got up and went into the seat higher up. It was weird, he didn’t like it.

“It’s alright,” the judge assured. “No reason to be nervous.”

“I was in a hospital for a week, I have no reason to not be nervous.”

He heard some people in the jury chuckle. He didn’t know if that was good or bad.

“Mr. Kleinman, I’m going to ask you some questions, just answer to the best of your ability, okay?” Ms. Heron gave him a small smile.

“Okay.”

“How old were you when the abuse started?”

Direct, aren’t we?

“I was six.”

“Could you please re-account the first time this happened? If you remember it of course.”

“I remember,” Jared said. “My mother and, uh, the defendant had been married for about a week. My brother and I were playing in the living room. He came in, and in that moment I don’t really know how, but I knew it was about to get bad. He wanted Tim at first. But...my gut told me that it was my job as the big brother to protect him. I offered to come with him instead. So he grabbed my wrist, and we went to the basement. I hadn’t ever seen anyone that mad before. He taped my mouth shut, and started hitting me.

“I listened, as we went along with it he kept telling me how I was a bad person, a demon, not worthy. Then he brought out a metal pole, and started hitting me with that. It kept going, kept getting worse, but eventually it ended. My head and arms had been left alone, so you couldn’t see any of the damage. He helped clean me up, told me I couldn’t tell anyone or else he’d do it again, and sent me on my way. I never told anyone and it kept happening anyway.”

The room was silent. Ms. Heron realized he was done and cleared her throat.

“That is all, Your Honor.”

The judge went back towards Dave’s table, “Does the defendant have any questions for the witness?”

“N—”

“I have some, Your Honor,” Dave interrupted. Jared could tell his lawyer was pissed.

“Quickly Mr. Gaustad.”

“Of course. So, Jared,” Dave couldn’t leave the table, but he could stand. “Do you think that my lessons were invaluable?”

“I think you’re insane,” Jared said.

“That’s the demon talking. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please let me make one thing clear before you make your decision. This boy, he’s evil. He isn’t innocent—”

“I never said I was,” Jared growled.

“The boy is gay,” Dave announced.

“THE PLAINTIFF’S SEXUAL ORIENTATION DOSE NOT HAVE TO DO WITH THIS CASE!” Ms. Heron screeched.

“Ms. Heron, sit down!”

She sat.

“Mr. Gaustad, that is enough. Ms. Heron is right, sexual orientation has nothing to do with the case. Now, I’m calling the final recess and then the jury will make their final decision. Thank you everyone.”

Jared was let back down to his seat and he buried his head in his arms.

“It’s okay,” Ms. Heron assured. “You did great.”

Jared looked up and nodded. He turned around and saw Zoe give him a thumbs up. He waited for the case to start up again and started tapping his foot when everyone came back in.

“We the jury find the defendant guilty of all charges,” a man announced.

“Case closed,” the judge boomed. “Mr. Gaustad, you are sentenced to a life in prison. Does the family have a victims statement?”

Jared shook his head and Audrey didn’t stand up. Soon everyone was dismissed and they were free to leave.

Cynthia was the first to give him a hug. Connor right behind her. Once the hug fest ended the reporters started to hound him.

Jared felt a hand between his shoulders and he whipped his head around. Larry was right behind him.

“Ignore them,” Larry said.

Jared nodded and started towards the doors. The moment he was outside there were cameras and shouting. He was not happy about it. Cynthia lead the group around the corner to the cars. Audrey climbed in with Zoe and Cynthia while the guys went into a different car. Evan sat awkwardly in the passenger seat, and no one spoke.

Evan was dropped off at his house before everyone gathered at the Murphy home. Cynthia was talking quietly with Audrey while Zoe went to preparing something to eat.

“You’re really brave,” Connor whispered, squeezing Jared’s good hand.

“Thanks.”

It was so weird. He felt comfortable, even though he had never acted like Connor’s boyfriend around their families before. But it was a good weird. If felt like progress.

“Here losers,” Zoe passed both of them a sandwich as she went around delivering to the rest of the house.

“Jared?”

Audrey has yet to speak to him. She was a coward, Jared couldn't forgive her yet.

“Yeah?”

Her voice quivered, “How about after lunch we go home?”

“I don’t want to right now.”

“Well, Jared, I’m your mother. I make the decisions. We are going home.”

“Fine.”

 

Jared walked into the office and approached the secretary. He had been itching to get back to school since he woke up.

“Hello,” Jared greeted, handing over the note he had forced Audrey to write.

“Jared...oh. We weren’t expecting you to be back so soon. Hon, just go talk to your teachers, you’re excused.”

Jared nodded and walked back out into the hall. He started walking to his first class when he felt two fingers tap against his hand. Jared didn’t hesitate to extend his hand for Connor to take.

“You should be at home,” Connor said. “You need to rest.”

“I’m fine,” Jared assured, stepping into the classroom. He approached the teacher, “Hi, I was gone last week. So do you have a list of the assignments I missed?”

The teacher almost fell out of her chair, “Oh, you’re excused. No points lost.”

“But I didn’t do any work.”

“It’s okay. All your teachers had a meeting, you don’t have any work to do. We thought you’d need to take it easy after everything.”

That was the exact opposite of what he needed, but whatever.

The day was...awkward. Awkward because he was able to act like Connor’s boyfriend and no one looked twice. Awkward because each teacher double taked when he was in his desk. Awkward because of the looks from the other students, waiting for him to break. Awkward because  _of course_ they would have an assembly eighth hour about abuse and how to handle abuse and who to contact if you witness or are a part of any  _abuse_. Of fucking course they would.

But it wasn’t all bad. He called Tim at lunch, assured his brother that he was fine and completely ready for school. Believe it or not Jared liked school. He liked being busy. That’s why he was a camp counselor over the summer, he stayed busy and he got paid. And he was away from Dave, but that was besides the point. College was gonna rock.

 

**Jared Kleinman's Five Things**

**1\. Heathers trash**

**2\. Improved**

**3\. Safe**

**4\. Makes good quality jokes**

**5\. Abused (past tense)**

 

This is what improvement looks like bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy spoopy season!


End file.
